When God left us: the retro-style Japanese cars of the nineties (1/5) - Mitsuoka

Japan, as a country, is known for being a bit weird, and, obviously, that’s a good thing. However, sometimes you get the odd impression that they go a little bit too far.

Mitsuoka often gets a lot of jokes thrown at it, and you can see why. Their cars aren’t exactly beautiful, and, in the case of the Viewt above, are polarising to say the least. Even their attempt at building their own car, rather than bastardising some poor Nissan, couldn’t escape: the Orochi has been described as the ‘world’s ugliest car’, although I have to admit that I quite like it.

Mitsuoka has been in the business of making cars considerably more polarising since the 1980s, and there are many examples that may or may not make you cry tears of blood. Here’s just a few of them for your viewing pleasure!

Mitsuoka Le Seyde

Now. That looks a bit odd, doesn’t it? I mean, if you didn’t look too closely, it would almost look like some weird pre-war yacht for aristocrats that spent more money on napkins than most of the population earned in their lives. But, underneath the weirdness, that, my friends, is a Nissan Silvia S13.

Don’t lie. You can see it, can’t you? I know you can, even though it may hurt you.

Perhaps the best/worst thing is that the car was popular enough that Mitsuoka made the New Le Seyde, based on an S15. Oh, and if you see the letter ‘S’ followed by a number in the early-mid teens, you are sure not to be far away from the word ‘drift’.

Weren’t expecting that, were ya?

Mitsuoka Himiko

Business in the front, party in the back. Some old Morgan at the front, then as you move further back, you can see the surprisingly recognisable shape of an NC MX-5. Like the Le Seyde, the Himiko got brought back for a second generation, an almost pleasing reshape of an ND MX-5.

Come on, that doesn’t look too bad!

Mitsuoka Viewt

This does look too bad. Based on the K11 Micra, and then the K12, and then on the K13, as if we really needed three whole generations of small hatchbacks designed to look like the Jaguar Mark II.

Mitsuoka Ray

You can’t hate this one. You can’t hate anything based on a Mazda Carol, a tiny little kei car that I will willingly describe as cute. If anything, Mitsuoka has added aggression to the poor little thing. The chihuahua has been given steroids.

Mitsuoka Microcars

Ahh, the venerable microcar. As the name suggests, these are tiny little cars that often take advantage of tax breaks, or slightly dangerous loopholes in the law. They were a bit wacky even before Mitsuoka decided to have a go at them, and Mitsuoka took one hell of a go at them.

How about what looks like a golf buggy, only without anywhere to place your bats? You want a K-1, or an MC-1 if you want the authentic, battery powered golf buggy experience. Or maybe you’d like a miniature, convertible version of the Messerschmitt KR200, which was itself already a microcar? The K-2 is for you, my friend. Perhaps it’s a weird, even more retro Caterham-esque thing with the engine from an MX-5 you’re after? A K-3 would be perfect. I think that what you want is a microcar reminiscent of a thirties Grand Prix racer. Well, in that case, you’ve got the K-4. All have been designed and built by the masters of doing stupid shιt with cars.

Mitsuoka has made many more cars over the years, each of which I’m sure are very interesting, but frankly it’s a miracle that I’ve written this much. And anyway, I suspect that at least some of your anguished screams will be so loud I’ll be able to hear them from my bedroom. But the world would be a duller, darker place without Mitsuoka, and at least that we can be thankful for.

#blogpost