Matt Kimberley profile picture Matt Kimberley 4 years ago 102
News

Brace Yourself For The Ugliest Jaguar E-Type You've Ever Seen

We wrote this article as quickly as we could just so that we could stop looking at it. Welcome to the most gut-wrenchingly awful modified E-Type in the world

Remind me later
Jaguar - Brace Yourself For The Ugliest Jaguar E-Type You've Ever Seen - News

Don’t look at this horror show for too long, because science says you’ll go blind. Probably. You’re looking at what we believe to be the worst-modified Jaguar E-Type not just on sale today, but ever built, anywhere, ever.

And it gets worse, because the seller hasn’t even acknowledged his shame and advertised it on Craigslist for a few dollars just to get rid of it. It’s for sale for $80,000. Yep, eighty thousand dollars.

Jaguar - Brace Yourself For The Ugliest Jaguar E-Type You've Ever Seen - News

There are a few CT jaws hitting the floor over this price tag. You’d surely have to be insane to buy it, and since this seems not to be the first time the seller has tried to hawk it to someone with even less taste than himself, it seems a buyer might be hard to find. Thankfully.

Owned by the seller for over 30 years, it has been modded and modded again over the years to create something that looks like a deep-sea-dwelling fish. Originally a 2+2 coupe, the poor Jag was apparently rolled in an accident by one of the seller’s friends, who offloaded it to this guy for a cheap price.

Jaguar - Brace Yourself For The Ugliest Jaguar E-Type You've Ever Seen - News

He ‘removed the roof’ and, you’d hope, made the necessary enhancements to chassis stiffness, before putting a 5.0-litre Ford V8 in it. As you do. Eight years after the transmission went, the seller built… whatever this is.

It’s all sheet metal, the advert proudly declares, and has been decorated with 2004 Ford Taurus headlights, Centerline wheels and a solid maple dashboard. Even more bizarrely it has Datsun 240Z seats. It’s clearly not the worst workmanship ever displayed, but why lovingly bake a cake if the ingredients were all wrong to start with?

Jaguar - Brace Yourself For The Ugliest Jaguar E-Type You've Ever Seen - News

Originally, in this form, it had an 8.2 litre turbocharged engine apparently taken from a Cadillac, but it was a bit much, so it was swapped out for the 5.7-litre Chevrolet V8 currently beneath its apocalyptically ugly front end. It was, says the seller, completely reconditioned with high-flow heads and has only covered about 600 miles since installation.

The only thing more of a mess than the spec sheet is the styling. It’s all the worse for being based on an E-Type, one of the most famously good-looking cars ever built. That this came from the historic Jaguar is enough to convince a devout Catholic that there is no God. Kill it with fire.