The 12 Most Immoral, Modified Cars Of 2012
Everyone likes to tweak their cars a little bit to give them a bit of personality. From something as simple as a stereo upgrade to a fruity remap, it's something we all do, and millions of pounds is sunk into the aftermarket car industry each year. Of course, not everyone does it right - there are good mods, there are bad mods and then there's Barry.
Barryboys.co.uk has been on a mission to uncover the world's worst modified cars since 2002. The site takes photograph submissions from users throughout the course of the year and, following weekly and monthly voting, whittles the contenders down to twelve for an annual prize - Shed of the Year. Here are the twelve finalists and surprisingly not all of them are Corsas...
January
Once someone's school run workhorse, a decade and a d*ckhead haven't been kind to this Corsa B "Trip". The mighty 1.2 powerplant hiding beneath the bonnet clearly needs two induction scoops and a cowl scoop - particularly since the rad has been blocked off. The bodykit, tribal graphics (always a winner), mismatched wheels, 70mm drop and parcel shelf sound system all work together to make this car look truly, truly stupid.
February
Anything that can be done to a Corsa can be done to a Peugeot 106 too. This particular example sports a full set of Barry mods, from M3 mirrors (carbon vinyl wrapped, of course) to the ill-fitting bodykit that makes it look like a prop from Captain Scarlet. The Elise-style bonnet serves as a rainwater collector, to shorten the life of the firebreathing 1.1 engine beneath. The colour and wing merely make me want to find a penny big enough to slot into the back and make it go.
March
Writing about this car almost seems pointless - the image says it all. Looking like someone's battered a baby aardvark to death with a shovel, what's hiding underneath all that tat is a Rover 414. Finished in a lovely shade of bilious oil spill, there's no angle from which this looks good.
April
We recently wrote positively about the Mazda MX-3, but there's very little positive here. Aside from the foul bodykit - adding straight lines to a car that has none - the joker behind this travesty has also badged it up as a Eunos Presso and, inexplicably, a Transformer. But then I suppose he has transformed a sleek little Japanese coupe into a pile of vomit.
May
Nothing says Rallyslag like a Subaru Impreza. It's just a pity that this one looks like its rally ended early at the hands of a dry stone wall. Adorned with kit parts that seem to belong to a different car, this car also wears L-plates, a carbon-effect bonnet (with pins!) and copious TURBO stickers. Of course, as you'll have guessed by now, this is an Impreza Sport non-turbo...
June
There's no school like old school, right? This shocker of a Capri ticks every box, from its Joker colour scheme to its whaletail spoiler and fake age-related plates. Multifits, flame decals and a bodged body kit all make this a less attractive prospect to drive than the wheelie bin in front of it.
July
You can't have just the one old Ford it seems, and this classic Mk4 Escort has been utterly brutalised. With fins, vents and ducts adorning every flat surface and tribal vinyls filling in the gaps, there isn't a calm spot to look at - with a 3D monitor, this car looks like you're about to be run over by a tattooed cheese-grater. The worst part of it all is that it was a genuine RS Turbo. Was.
August
Something about the summer months brings out the Ford Barry. While not quite so busy as the blue one, this second Mk4 Escort has a bizarre, asymmetric front bumper that makes it look like Lady Gaga's wearing her pants on her head again. It also appears to be one of the very few Escort cabriolets that was used in Ford's 80's Motorsport programme, if the sunstrip is to be believed.
September
The Honda Prelude was a reasonable motor in its day, but this one seems to have been given a life sentence. Finished off in a lovely shade of metallic "the squits", this one has silver flame badges, a Supra-style spoiler and an eagle bonnet mascot ready to impale pedestrians. Oh yes, and six exhaust exits of two different types. The gothic sunstrip saying "Always keep it real" is slightly ironic when four of the exhausts aren't...
October
I prefer to think of this car as a genetic experiment - one designed to fit Michael Schumacher's chin to Anne Hathaway's head. Something similar must have passed through this Civic owner's mind when he set out to put the front end of what appears to be a much longer and wider car onto his. The look is finished with an exhaust you could put a baby into comfortably. That and the fact he took it to Santa Pod.
November
This is another occasion where words almost seem pointless. This is not so much a Vauxhall Astra as it is a novelty tie for the blind. The comedy wing and Chunnel sticking out of the back are mere icing on the cake, because not only is this a Barry Astra, it's a diesel one.
December
Amazingly, this car was once a Volkswagen Jetta. One owner inexplicably decided that it would look far better than standard if it resembled someone crashing a FIAT Croma into a marshmallow and, with the the addition of the matching roofbox, the illusion is complete.
Voting is already underway for Barryboys members, but you can have your say in the comments.
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