Lifted Trucks And Why They're Hated

A while back I posted a small #rant about the hate going on against the stance crowd - HERE and how this very small group of people was ruining an otherwise good car scene.
Ironically, I ended off the post with a joke that I’ll do one about lifted trucks. Well I’ve just finished a heated argument about an idiot online specifically about this topic. So… Looks like I’m fulfilling the promise after all!

Now - Don’t get me wrong - I really don’t care about trucks either. Sure they’re big, loud, usually slow, take up too much space and even the petrol ones seem to blow clouds of something from the tailpipes… But they are useful!
Trucks can haul tow and otherwise work harder than any other type of car. Sometimes that work means getting over obstacles, in which case some extra ground clearance is a gift from the heavens.

So why all the hate?
Just as with stance/hellaflush, its a small crowd giving the rest of the truck guys a bad name.
This “small crowd” is composed of those I like to call the “City-slicker Rednecks”
I’m sure you know at least one.

Biff works an office job and lives in the suburbs. His weekend and afternoon activities include drinking beer, watching sports on TV and streaming porn on his cellphone in the toilet. He is scared of camping, has never gotten his hands dirty but does love his backyard grill.
Biff drives a brand new Dodge RAM 3500HD with a 60” lift, massive mud tyres, a snorkel, light bar and a pair of massive vertical stacks. He then proceeds to yell at the kids in their Toyotas or Hondas about how their cars are “rice rockets” before disappearing in a cloud of black smoke. Basically, he is being an obnoxious prick.

Now, I’m sure the truck guys here are getting really angry at this point and screaming “BUT THAT’S NOT ALL OF US!!” and - well - you’d be right! I know many truck owners who are positively AMAZING people. Sure most of them have too many guns for my liking and I still don’t know what color Evan’s truck really is under all that dirt, but they’re all awesome people who I enjoy chatting with. Most of them actually use their trucks for the intended purpose of a truck: to haul stuff, and some of them go offroading.

So where am I going with this?
Well - Biff is the truck guy we think of when we hear someone say “truck guy”
Biff is the problem and, sadly, there are too many Biffs in the world. The men who bought a truck to make themselves feel more masculine and not because they needed a truck. They then realize that there are already a lot of trucks on the road so they HAVE to stand out by making their truck the biggest and baddest truck around.

As with the stance scene, a lifted truck is OK - there is nothing wrong with it. If you need to clear some rocks at a work-site or when you go offroading with your buddies, go for it. If you just want it to look cool, do it. It’s your truck and it’s your money.
The problem, once again, arises with things going too far:

When you have to carry a ladder around with you to get into your truck, there is something wrong.
I know - “But you just said it’s their car and their money! HYPOCRITE!”

What do you think will happen if a car was to get into an accident with a truck that tall? It’ll hit the tire.
What if the truck doesn’t stop, because it’s momentum is too great? It’ll roll over the car in front of it.
Think it hasn’t happened before? You’re wrong good sir/madam.

What about center of gravity? Even regular trucks have a tough time making emergency maneuvers. Increasing the center of gravity only makes the problem worse (go watch the moose test videos to see center of gravity affecting different cars).

As with the insane camber idiots driving on the highways with unsafe cars, people with trucks twice the factory height are a very real road hazard. Their handling is rubbish and prone to tip over in any form of quick maneuver, its plainly an inefficient and impractical method to transport anything, and most of the guys driving around on extreme lifts an huge tires don’t actually need a truck at all. Everything they need out of a car would probably be handled by a Prius.
To them, the truck is a way to compensate for their own lack of self confidence. By having a big manly car they feel more manly themselves.

However, this need to be accepted as a macho guy is putting their, and other’s, safety and even lives at risk.

So, as before, the final points:

  • Trucks are useful vehicles.
  • Lifted trucks are OK - regardless of whether you actually need that lift or not.
  • Insanely tall lift kits are a hazard to yourself and everyone around you - don’t be an idiot.
  • If you own a truck with an insanely tall lift kit, could you please tell me how you get in? I’m genuinely curious.

I won’t make another joke in fear of it coming true but the FWD/RWD/AWD debate may be a topic in a future rant… Also, we need a “Rants” community!


Agent Washington

stock truck is stock because money

12/18/2015 - 03:31 |
11 | 0

Looks good stock tho - If it was my truck and I had the cash, I wouldn’t change much. It does what it needs to do and looks pretty damn good doing it.

… Okay. I lied. I’d throw an LS7 in that BXCH!

12/18/2015 - 05:26 |
6 | 0

Meanwhile, I’m just over here with my stock (except for bed cap, roof rack, and company lettering) F150 that I use for camping, off-road trails, long-distance hauling, and countless other things. I honestly can’t think of any ordinary use-case scenario in which a massive lift kit and bogger tires would improve the practicality of it.

12/18/2015 - 03:44 |
6 | 0

I like all the points that you made. I agree with you. I wouldn’t get mud tires of I owned a lifted anything because they would go to waste honestly, I have no place close that I can legally do some off-roading. But this was a great read
I want to get myself a truck the the reasons that
1) I love trucks, almost as much as cars
2) truck with a tasteful lift kit with a pair of nice size an width tires looks nice ( to me)
3) I can buy project cars an tow them to my house
4) manual trucks make me drool lol.

12/18/2015 - 03:47 |
0 | 0
The Stigographer

In reply to by Gary

I had a major desire to buy a Mazda B3000 because I found a manual one in great condition for $900 … Sure it had a bit over 250,000km on it, but CMON… It’s the Miata of the truck world!

12/18/2015 - 05:23 |
1 | 0

Good post! My truck is usually called useless by truck people haha. Can’t put more than 500lbs in the bed, can’t go off roading, and can’t really tow anything. But I love it.

12/18/2015 - 03:58 |
9 | 0

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

is that a cyclone?! that’s wicked!

12/18/2015 - 05:00 |
2 | 0
The Stigographer

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Always loved those! :)

12/18/2015 - 05:24 |
2 | 0
Ricky 1

very well put. I have a few friends with lifted trucks, and luckily, they own them for the right reasons, not just to be a jackass. That’s not to say I haven’t encountered the obnoxious ass that lifts his truck to airplane cruising altitude just so he can scare other cars out of his way and cut through drainage ditches to avoid traffic

12/18/2015 - 04:28 |
0 | 0
The Stigographer

In reply to by Ricky 1

Ah. So you met a Biff as well.

12/18/2015 - 05:24 |
0 | 0

A stereotype that really annoys me with the whole lifted truck thing is the people who always say “you must be compensating for something, like your d**k because you have a lifted truck” that always bugs me…. I usually want to just punch those people but that would lead to things I wouldn’t want to happen so I just ignore it.

12/18/2015 - 04:46 |
0 | 0

90% of truck owners bought their truck for the right reasons. 10% bought it because they really ARE compensating for something…
It’s another case of the few idiots ruining it for the many :/

12/18/2015 - 05:22 |
2 | 0

I’ll add a couple points to your well-put article:

  1. Trucks are “Oafs”
  2. Most of their headlights point so precisely that they manage to beam all three of my rear-view mirrors.

I’m on the same page with ya.

12/18/2015 - 05:14 |
0 | 0

The people who lift their trucks without adjusting their headlights deserve to die. Not even gonna try to justify it.

12/18/2015 - 05:27 |
2 | 0

I actually identify with stance cars and lifted trucks. Im useless and everyone hates me.

12/18/2015 - 05:43 |
0 | 0

So …. This? XD

12/18/2015 - 05:48 |
3 | 0

One thing to remember is that different parts of the world have different sports. Just like Japan has drifting, the southeastern United States has mud pits. It is exactly what is sounds like. They created the nastiest, slimiest, hardest pit and see who can make it to the other side. So while the guy’s truck may seem ridiculous and impractical its probably because it is. Its not his daily. Its his weekend toy.
Having said that there are pleeeeeeenty of examples of rigs that are not used for that purpose and are, as we call them in SoCal, Penis trucks. (For those of you who don’t know the joke is “Nice truck, sorry about your penis) Its really easy to tell them apart. If it looks like you could floss your teeth in the reflection, its a probably a penis truck. If its dinged up and has rock scrapes its probably used.

12/18/2015 - 07:12 |
2 | 0
The Stigographer

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

My old coworker had a penis truck - it was absolutely MINT. You’d swear he polished it every morning.
My other coworker always parked next to him. I’ve never seen that one clean. Pretty sure he went through a mud pit on his way to work every morning O.o

12/18/2015 - 16:21 |
1 | 0
Dat Incredible Chadkake

I know that feel. I consider myself to be a truck enthusiast and I love lift kits and off road tires. However, it can be overdone and when it is, it’s obnoxious. It’s cool when it’s done right!

01/10/2016 - 00:22 |
0 | 0

My work truck currently has a small lift and slightly larger tires because we need to get around everywhere… But if you were to look at it in a parking lot, you’d just think “that’s a large vehicle” instead of “I think I could park under that…”

03/28/2017 - 02:24 |
0 | 0

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