The Most Boring Car Advert... In The World?

Last month, Ollie was preaching to us about crafting the perfect car advert which can help your four-wheeled weapon of choice sell like hot cakes. Exhibit A, today, is an eBay advert showing why Ollie's advice is so important.

This is a 12-cylinder long wheelbase Jaguar XJ from 1995 which has been converted to run on LPG meaning you can buy a car this posh and it will still be cheaper to fuel than the standard XJ12. The car isn't perfect, quite a few electrical niggles here and there that will need to be fixed for its next MOT in September, which is fair enough. Only one piece of advice for the seller... KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid!

The description has to be the longest I've ever come across. 1,745 words worth of all the car's upgrades, faults and the owner's opinion all in one, poorly-formatted paragraph. You think the pain has finally ended? Nope, not yet. There's another 100 words in the additional information box! So to save all the potential buyer's some time, I've taken the editorial liberty of reading the ad and choosing some personal highlights which should be in bullet points like so.

• 6.0-litre V12 that's 'smoother than J-Lo's ass' (nice) converted to LPG with LPGA certificate
• Aftermarket front & rear entertainment systems with 10-disc changer in boot, navigation and wireless headphones
• Intermittent electrical fault that hasn't been diagnosed which makes car 'limp' into first gear from normal running. Can only be reset after switching car off and on (typically British), can take 6 attempts at most to get going again
• Upgrades include respray, 19" Dotz Muggello alloys, new air-con, new stainless steel exhaust system and refurbished brake calipers
• Seller still has original wheels if not keen on the gold ones
• 81,000 miles, MOT due 12th September and taxed until December 2012

You're welcome. Much better than all that mess. If you still don't believe me, check the advert out for yourself here.