Since none of Team CT knows which way up to hold a hammer, we had to scour the depths of the webternet to find our Top 10 pieces of Frankensteiny Car Furniture
If you’re a Top Gear TV addict you’ll have seen Mr Clarkson bringing the wonder of V8s from the garage into the house with an innovative and highly practical Corvette 6.2-litre V8 food blender and bone breaking rocking chair. We like.
To butcher a well-known slogan, if Car Throttle made furniture, it’d be something like that. But since none of the CT team knows which way up to hold a hammer, we had to scour the depths of the webternet to see what other people have created for this week’s top 10. Here are their Frankensteiny creations...
10. Volvo 240 Sink
Sinks are not sexy. Volvo 240s are not sexy. And a dreary blue sink with a Volvo 240 grille and badge stuck on is even less sexy than SuBo. Next!
9. Evo Bed
In the past, car themed beds were for seven year olds only. Not any more. If you can’t afford a whole Evo X just buy the bonnet, front wings and bumper and voila, you can have yourself a very orange Mitsu-bed-i. Your girlfriend will leave you as soon as she sees what you’ve done to the bedroom though. Especially if you go for a chequered headboard like this n00b. Epic. Bed. Fail.
8. Jag Table
The amateurs over on Top Gear TV might have done this before with Clarkson’s eight cylinder Porsche 928 table, but we raise them with a V12 Jaaaag table; or if you need somewhere to stash your booze, a V12 beer holder (once you’ve ripped the glass table top off, of course).
Old Minis like most British cars from the olden days, are notoriously unreliable. Fire however, is very reliable. So why not chuck out the ancient engine under the bonnet and fit a grille instead so you can host some legendary barbecues?
6. Caddy Sofa
Back in the 50s and 60s America sketched some sexy, sexy bits of metal. I mean they had fins and sh*t. No, we wouldn’t want to drive an old skool Caddy but we think this Cadillac sofa looks the business. Look at those fricking fins!
5. Mini Desk
No self-important businessman can take himself seriously without a big f*ck off desk to pose behind. We think this Mini is just about perfect, but if you’ve got a tiny penis and need a huge desk to compensate, you could always get yourself something a bit more Range Rovery like this guy:
4. Ferrari F430 Desk Chair
Whoever designed this desk chair, we salute you for making office life more exciting. You might not work up too much g force churning out uni essays at your desk but you’ll look the absolute canine’s testicles parked in this carbon fibre and alcantara beaut’. Which is a good thing as you’ll need to stump up $25,000 to buy one, as it’s freshly stripped from a Ferrari F430 Scuderia 16M. Yes, we said $25,000. Shame the lovely leather clad blonde bird is an optional extra...
3. Car Part Drum Kit
Normally we don’t get excited by drum kits, but this one’s a bit more interesting, as it’s made entirely from newly dismembered car organs. In fact it’s giving us flashbacks of Honda’s genius ad, “The Cog”. Check out the Honda vid if you missed it... it’s definitely worth two minutes of your time. See the car drum in action below.
2. Mustang Pool Table
There’s nothing more macho than playing pool (badly). And what better car to play pool on than a Mustang. Admittedly, this one looks like it’s been flattened by a falling sheet of industrial timber, but at least you won’t have to worry about the spindly legs collapsing when you get a leg over (easy now) as this pool table’s got wheels.
1. Jaguar Shelves
Every kitchen needs an upended Jag; there is no other word for this monster than genius. In fact we can’t think of any reason why you shouldn’t all go out and buy one. Right now. Unless you live in a bungalow. This Jag shelf/cupboard combo is even pretty good value considering that you could bag yourself a Jag banger for just under £400, the same as this vile Ikea cabinet. Looks like a no brainer to us.
So, you’ve now seen our favourite pieces of car furniture, but have you spotted anything even more zany out there? Let us know below and tell us your favourite from our top 10 line up while you’re at it.