The festive day is now upon us, and your friends and relatives will no doubt have thought hard
about what gift to buy you. They know you're a car guy, so will have shopped accordingly
. However well-meaning they are though, it's possible they'll have made a shockingly poor choice.
To show you just how wrong people can get it, we've compiled a list of spectacularly lame (and some slightly fictitious) presents. Let's hope you don't open any of these!
1. Carbonfibre Ferrari Cufflinks
These cufflinks manage to be both tacky and
stupidly expensive. You'll look like a tool wearing these if you don't own a Ferrari, and probably an even bigger tool
if you do.
2. Prius T-Shirt
It's hard to think of anything more offensive
to a petrolhead than a T-shirt with the world's most boring car plastered on the front.
3. 200mph On DVD
This laughably bad film is probably the worst car movie ever made.
Created by The Asylum, the studio that brought you delights such as Titanic 2
and Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus
, this train-wreck
of a film was released as a 'mockbuster' to cash in on release of Fast Five.
Price: £10 (about £10 too much)
4. Driving Tuition With Pastor Maldonado
There are lots of driving experience gifts out there, but having the chance to be tutored by the crashiest driver
in F1 since Taki Inoue takes some beating.
Disclaimer: We may have made this one up a bit...
Price: If it existed, probably quite expensive.
5. French Fries Holder
If not having anywhere to put your fries while you drive is a frequently-occurring
problem, that's probably a sign that you need to cut down on the fast food.
6. Headlight Eyelashes
If there were a prize for the worst car accessory ever, these hideous things would win it.
7. Car-Themed Socks
Socks with pictures of cars on them are the least-fashionable item of clothing ever. Even us unfashionable car guys know that much...
8. Sebastian Vettel 'Finger' Phone Cover
If you find Sebastian Vettel's trademark victory salute
irritating, just imagine having it stuck to the back of your phone.
9. Car-Branded Fragrances
OK, so we may
have made this particular fragrance up, but any car-branded perfume (Ferrari, Bentley and Cadillac sell them, to name but a few) is properly lame.
10. Porsche Design Chopsticks
Ever wanted to combine your love of Southeast Asian food and Porsches? Well, now you can.
(Except that you shouldn't!)
11. Big Rigs Video Game
There are plenty of shoddy racing games out there, but this has to be the worst.
If you've not heard of Big Rigs, the video below will give you all the confirmation you need.
Price: £5 or under in the 'bargain' bin
12. An Actual Prius
Prius T-shirt not offensive enough for you? If you're from a rich family, just imagine getting an actual
Prius for Christmas. Bad times.
If you can think of any other presents no petrolhead should receive this Christmas
, let us all know in the comments section.