10 Horrifically Ironic Car Names
1. Suzuki Esteem
‘Esteem’? Really?
2. Kia Pride
Kias are great cars these days, but this box of misery from the 90s isn’t something you’d take ‘Pride’ in.
3. Suzuki Swift
Yes, I know there have been fast Suzuki Swifts - you can still buy the Swift Sport, and the older Cultus-related Swifts even had GTI editions - but most are really, really slow. Does 0-60mph in 17.4 seconds sound ‘Swift’ to you?
4. Skoda Rapid
On a similar theme to the Swift, we have the Rapid from Skoda. And with the post powerful putting out a mere 120bhp from a 1.4-litre engine, ‘rapid’ it ain’t. Then there’s the old Rapid, which manages to puff out just 54bhp from its carbureted 1.3-litre engine.
5. Oldsmobile Achieva
As so well put by CTzen CLShifter, this car “achieved nothing bar accelerating the death of Oldsmobile.”
6. Daewoo Racer
The Daewoo Racer is the ironic gift that keeps on giving. It’s another name occasionally given for the ambitiously titled Daewoo ‘Le Mans’, a car which was sometimes called the ‘Heaven’. If this is what heaven looks like, sign me up to hell right now.
OK, so this one’s a brand name and not a model, but still: ‘Brilliance’ was not a word that came to mind when watching the BS6 fold like paper during this 2007 crash test.
8. Mitsubishi Carisma
I genuinely can’t think of a car with less charisma than this.
9. Mini Countryman
The Mini brand as a whole got a lot of mentions on our original community question, but since the whole supermini sector it’s aiming for has gotten rather bloated (just compare a first-gen Ford Fiesta with the current one and you’ll see what I mean), we aren’t going to call the BMW subsidiary out for its mildly ironic use of the word ‘mini’.
However, where it is stretched too far (figuratively and literally) is when the name Mini is applied to the definitely not mini Countryman. And just look at it. Not exactly an oil painting, is it?
10. Hyundai Excel
Here’s a car that doesn’t excel at anything. Other than being dull.
Any more you can think of? Get to the comments!
Comments
There’s a car (Suzuki, I think, but not sure) in Asia that’s called the “Platz” (German for “space”/“free area”/“Plaza”).
It’s a tiny car, similar to the Citroen C1.
Well, theres Proton Wira, Wira means “Hero” In Malay or Indonesian, Not much Heroism there eh?
I almost bought a Carisma once. Thanks to the owner and destiny I didn’t and saved myself from that nightmare GDI endine. I wanted to have the car right away but he said he needs it for one more week so I gave up and and on the next day I bought a Nissan “Primera” which also has a funny name but is bulletproof.
What a brilliant bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit bullshit.
Here in the Philippines Kia Pride owners called their cars Kia Shame due to its notorious build quality that stigmatized the overall brand
the Hyundai matrix. The only thing matrix about that is how it looks like it’s already had a crash before it was even made.
Brilliance BS6… Where are the other five bullshits?
Ford Escort….didnt came with any…or anything related to sexappeal
Datsun Cherry. Wonder who popped they’re cherry in that bad boy.
Vauxhall Viva. Viva it’s driven people who are coffin dodgers.
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