This is one of the greatest Craigslist ads I have ever seen

Year: Honda. Make: Honda. Model: Honda. Engine: Honda. Mileage: Honda.

It’s a goddmn Honda. It’s got a dope-ss B18b1 swap that my therapist assures me is all hells of JDM, and that the previous owner proudly declared was “done right, no hackjobs.” He also assured me that “it pulls hard, breh,” “it runs with WRXs, bruh,” and “I have no fewer than six dead skin masks in my basement, brah.” At least two of those things are lies, but I’ll leave it up to you to determine which.

Anyway this is a car, it has a bunch of modifications that I did not put on it, it has always started except for the times that it didn’t start, and I’m sick of staring at it. The car will come on factory steelies with winter tires; the wheels pictured are included but one tire is not usable (sidewall separation is no joke, kids!). The car is drivable but in no way mint - it’s a 1995 Honda Civic that runs, drives, and sounds like a 1995 Honda Civic. I don’t daily drive it right now but I did for a long time and it was generally reliable. That said, it does need at least a few things almost immediately, such as…

-A starter! Alternatively, you can make sure you always park facing downhill (this is what I do).
-Spark plug wires! Alternatively, you can pretend you have some advanced intermittent-cylinder-deactivation technology (this is what I do).
-A trailing arm bushing! Alternatively, you can pretend the car has a built-in massage chair that only activates on right turns (this is not what I do, but it’s a nice thought I guess?).

It also needs a steering rack at some point in the near or distant future (depending on how sensitive you are to obnoxious squeaking when you turn). To bring balance to the Honda force, though, it does have some super rare premium special features, such as…

-Custom-fabricated quarter panels consisting of 80% 100% authentic bondo and 20% 100% authentic hacked-up 1999 Pontiac Grand Prix fender.
-One-of-a-kind interior consisting of JDMASALLF*CK Integra seats and about $80 worth of poorly-applied black spraypaint that’s partially still there.
-One (1) homemade Kanye West for President 2020 sticker delicately and precisely affixed to the hood.

The car will also come with a big pile of parts that I was too lazy to do anything with, including (but not limited to! [no really, I have no idea how much sh*t I have but please take all of it]):

-A complete tan interior swap in great condition.
-A few different ECUs.
-Nearly everything needed to boost the car aside from the turbo itself (I have intercooler, piping, bigger injectors, etc.)
-Another full exhaust.

I’m interested in cash and also money. Neither of those things are trades, so get that whack sh*t out of my court or whatever I don’t know somebody please buy this