If you’re a fan of tuning company Brabus, you’ll probably think that no AMG Mercedes is fast enough when it rolls out of the factory. That’s the bonkers Brabus mindset, and here are the company's latest love-children. The ML (above) and GL SUVs have been upgraded with a new performance pack labelled B63S-700, which is a development of the earlier B63 project. The package gets you the same upgrades on both models. For your cash you get a frankly ridiculous 700 horsepower from the 5.5-litre BiTurbo AMG V8, which is the same pony count as you get in a Lamborghini Aventador. But there’s also 708lb ft of torque, which is about a thousand times more than you get in a Honda Civic Type R... Brabus has binned the AMG-standard turbos and added its own, winding the boost up to 11 for performance that would seriously impress your (fellow rap star) buddies, but not so much the police. Expect 0-60 times faster than you can say, “Honestly officer, my foot really did slip...” We like that. We also like the anti-sport button, which instead of making the exhausts louder as the Sport (or equivalent) button does in sports cars elsewhere, reduces the epic default volume to a genteel rumble to avoid annoying your neighbours, who are probably even richer and more powerful than you. The upgrades aren’t limited to the engine, with a dubious body kit getting the go-ahead as well. We have to say, however, that even though the two-tone steering wheel is sickening, the quilted leather seats look pretty awesome. Apparently Brabus is also offering a warranty with the B63S kit, covering three years/62,000 miles, so you can be pretty confident it won’t self-destruct the first time you chase the redline. Prices? If you have to ask... best to walk away. But if you have a blank cheque burning a hole in the pocket of those baggy jeans you’re wearing so low that your doctor could perform a prostate exam without asking you to take them off, the B63S kit looks like a sweet way to give your ML, GL or even your G-Wagen extra muscle.
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