8 Hilarious Hooning Fails That Have Happened To You

1. When the clutch drops, I'll follow you to the police station - Gabz

I was once coming home from the gym and pulled a mighty drift on a roundabout. Unfortunately as I came out the other end, a police car was coming towards me which put its lights on immediately. I pulled over and expected the worst (license away, car crushed, jail, death sentence, etc). Since I was coming from the gym, I didn’t have any documents on me whatsoever, and the ‘when the clutch drops the bulls**t stops’ sticker didn’t help the situation either.

They were busy trying to find out my identity and checking the car up in their database. I told them that I was to go with them to the station (how kind of me) and show my insurance details online. They were so surprised at my collaboration that they let me off with a verbal warning. Lesson learned.

2. Caught between a sign and a lamppost - Daniele

I once took my mom’s Fiat Barchetta for a drive. I was on my way to church and the night before it had rained so the street was nice and wet. Where my parents live there is a nice turn; 90-degree right and then soon after 90-degree left… so I take the first turn and pull the hand brake… perfect drift. Second turn to the left, pull the hand brake… the car starts fish-tailing and I lose control. The car swerves to the right on to the curb and just between a sign post and a light post.

The story ends with a blown tyre and a massive scare… I could have destroyed the poor Fiat, but God had mercy.

3. Drifting a Rio was never going to end well - Ashton Cole

So a few weeks ago my friend was in hospital, and after he finally got out he was sad because he didn’t get a particular nurse’s number. So I decided I was going to take him on a joyride in my Kia Rio to cheer him up with some drifting. So we go to a back street, and I plant the gas on the straight to the corner, a perfect 90-degree right hander, with a generous run-off before the houses.

Dropping from 3rd to 2nd at the entry of the corner, I pulled the handbrake at the apex, and the rear wheels locked and slipped out as they should. Having never drifted before, let alone in a FWD, it was always going to fail. I forgot to release the handbrake and did a full 360, narrowly missing the gutter.

Thankfully I didn’t kill myself and my friend, but I failed to notice the police car that had stopped in front of me and the two stunned officers in the front. I don’t know how I talked my way out of it, but I didn’t even receive a fine… and I haven’t ‘drifted’ since.

When my cousin tried to drift…

5. Chevrolet Kalos, an unlikely off road hero - Me

My favourite hooning story comes from when I did the Mongol Rally a couple of years ago. We were in the final few days of the rally, making our way across the Mongolian steppe. It was late in the evening with the sun going down, so we were looking for a place to camp. We’d spotted a massive lake in the distance, so headed off the ‘road’ and onto a sandy path. One of the other cars in our convoy put their foot down, so we did our best to keep up.

Unfortunately, they were kicking up so much sand that we couldn’t see a thing, but our driver kept his foot in. The poor little Chevrolet Kalos was bouncing about and rocking from side to side, before we eventually hit an actual jump. Upon landing in soft sand, the front of the car dug in, and vast quantities of sand were dumped into the footwell from underneath the car! A wave of sand hit me just below the knee, and everything we’d placed on the floor was covered. Luckily, the car survived and we sheepishly crawled the rest of the way to our makeshift camp site.

6. Tricking mum into thinking you're a good son - Zieg

This is one I swore I’d take to my grave. But since I figure my parents will never read it I’ll share it… So a few years back (2013) my family left on a trip to Cali, leaving me home alone with their cars. On the second day after they left I decided to go for a spin in my mom’s Camry. Now, my dad is a great driver, and he loves to do all sorts of weird stunts with the cars. One of my favourites growing up was watching him do the one in this Gif (above).

Well for some reason I decided it’d be a good idea to try it myself. Not my brightest moment. I ended up smashing the passenger headlight against the towhook on my dad’s truck…

I decided that rather than tell my parents what had happened, I would buy some new headlights, and try to have them delivered and installed before they came back from their trip. I ended up buying a whole new light kit (projector headlights, HID fog lights, and LED daytime running lights built into the headlights) for the Camry for about $500 with one day shipping. When my parents got back, my mom was so happy with her “surprise gift”.

Even to this day, whenever she shows off her car, she’ll tell all her friends about how her wonderful and caring son bought her those amazing lights for her car. I’ve never told her the reason why, and I hope I never do.

7. Always check the beds for sleeping friends - Gtouring

I was messing with my Transit camper van in the snow in a car park just trying to get it to go sideways when I was away at a rally event. Unknown to me, two of my mates were in the back fast asleep - I thought they were still in the pub until I heard a loud scream as they fell out of the bed. One banged his head on the cooker and needed eight stitches, the other one broke his arm.

8. Not the donut they were hoping for - Ben Van Deventer

Last winter I was out drifting in a snowstorm with a dozen other Subarus all night, in various vacant parking lots (where we’ve been drifting for years, without complaint from owners or police). After a few hours of hooning around, I finally decided to call it a night and head home. Just trying to turn out of the parking lot, maybe 7mph… BANG. Right into a curb. Instant flat tire.

Everyone immediately stops, gets out and helps change out the tire… just as the police roll through the parking lot. With the most disappointed and judgmental look he could possibly muster, the officer said simply, “you yahoos heading home after this?” “Yes officer…”

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