15 Winter-Proof Cars You Can Afford

Every winter us hardy Brits are buried under 2cm of snow and the whole country goes into apocalyptic lockdown mode. Christmas cards sit undelivered in depots and suburban housewives strip supermarket shelves of anything canned, terrified that they might be trapped in their homes by the immense snowdrifts that threaten to cover their monogrammed welcome mats.

But fear not, because CT has come to the rescue; Here is a list of 15 cars that will see you through winter snow while BMW drivers are marooned at home, forced to eat their own children for survival.

15: Isuzu Trooper

Despite the comical name, the Trooper is an honest workhorse that will get you out of trouble while Qashqai-driving plebs are scratching their heads wondering why their “four by four” won’t dig itself out of the snow. Coming in Defender-bashing short wheelbase form and humongous five door form, the Troop’ is ready to fend off a zombie apocalypse – even if you aren’t.

Average cost = £2700

14: Mitsubishi Evo VII

OK, the Evo ain’t no Defender - because of its limited ground clearance - but it has got sh*tloads of off road rally heritage and a sweet all-wheel drive system for maximum traction. Oh, and a turbocharged motor that will make you the fastest thing on the snowy roads if you shove some winter tyres on…

Average cost = £7000

13: VW Golf R32

With all-wheel drive magic behind those hefty alloys and the sexiest sounding 3.2-litre V6 in the business, people walking past will thank you for choosing an R32 when the snow comes. And the R32 sounds the absolute breasts. Feast your ears on Volkswagen’s Symphony in R(32) below:

Average cost = £6000

12: Volvo S60R

Sweden is snowy. The S60R is Swedish. It has all-wheel drive. According to my maths, that makes the S60R pretty handy in the snow. It also has is a phenomenal set of speakers in those chunky hipped doors and a funky sounding five cylinder motor under its snout. Yes it’s no M3 in the dry but when the roads are covered in snow and you’re hooning around in your Volvo, M3 drivers will all be spectacularly falling off the road. Like this douchebag who can’t even handle dry tarmac.

Average cost = £6000

11: Mazda CX-7

We’ll forgive you if you’ve never heard of the CX-7, but it’s got proper ground clearance, four wheel drive and 256 ninja-grade horsepowers. So you’ll actually be able to overtake more than just cyclists as it zoom zooms to 62mph in eight seconds. It’s also a bit of a 4x4ILF with its sleek lines and a BOSE sound system for out-Gangnam Styling your Corsa driving mates.

Average cost = £7000

10: Suzuki Jimny

With an asthmatic 1.3-litre “engine” the Jimny is barely more powerful than your own legs, but it’s also smaller than a Mini. Shaped like a shrunken Defender the Jimny can pretty much drive over anything and even if it does get stuck in the snow it’s so light you can push it out again with your little finger.

Average cost = £2000

9: Dodge Nitro

With bling 20 inch rims and all the subtlety you’d expect from the country that brought the world Hummers and hamburgers, the Nitro is so manly you’ll grow a second pair of testicles if you drive it too long. It may be cruder than Wayne Rooney but the four wheel drive gubbins will keep you out of trouble. You can also lock it in rear wheel drive for arse out powerslide antics. Perfick.

Average cost = £7000

8: Daihatsu Sirion Rally 4

Schools everywhere have a weird bespectacled Hungarian boy sat in the corner. He may sound like The Simpson's Professor Frink and look like Family Guy's Mort Goldman but he’s secretly discovered that pesky god particle and is set to take over the world. That’s what the Sirion is. It looks geeky, it sounds geeky, but it weighs nothing, has a ridiculously eager 1.3-litre engine that revs to nearly 8000rpm and sounds like a possessed wasp. Plus it has four wheel drive and skinny snow-munching tyres. It’s even bloody good value as we found out with our top uni car roundup.

Average cost = £1500

7: Toyota Land Cruiser

The Land Cruiser may have been around since the Romans were finishing off the Coliseum, but having road tripped across the barren land that is Oz in a Land Cruiser I can tell you that it has survived for a reason. Utterly competent off road and utterly reliable, if you get stuck in the snow in a Land Cruiser the popo should confiscate your driving licence and beat you to death with it.

Average cost = £4000

6: Land Rover Freelander

Yes it’s the baby Landie, but the Freelander can handle a bit of snow and ice while managing corners without falling over. Just imagine that sense of satisfaction when you watch herds of frumpy mums marooned in their pretend off roader Honda CRVs while you cruise past in your Land Rover. Take that, ladies

Average cost = £3000

5: Audi TT

Er, it’s got 4x4 drive. And it looks pretty. Go on, try one in the snow. We dare you…

Average cost = £3000

4: Fiat Panda 4x4

Check out number 44 of our lolworthy pics and you’ll see what we’re getting at with the Panda. With a puny 1.2-litre engine mustering a pathetic 60bhp, the Panda takes a humongous 20 seconds to get to 62mph. But with just 15 undernourished Italian ponies per wheel to call on you don’t have to worry about wheelspin. Rev the tits off this Panda and you’ll skim along the surface of the snow like a water boatman skating across a pond. Less is more.

Average cost = £4000

3: Mercedes G Class

Remember that crazy German bloke who drove around the world for 23 years clocking up over 500,000 miles. He had a G Class. He didn’t get stuck. The End.

Average cost = £7000

2: Land Rover Defender

Frankly if the Defender is good enough for Mr Bond, we think it’s good enough for us and should make mincemeat of whatever snow blows over onto our little island. With chunky tyres, huge ground clearance and proper old school tech underneath you really can’t beat a Defender for snow crushing ability.

Average cost = £3500

1: Subaru Forester XT

Hmm, well maybe you can beat a Defender as we’ve put it in second. Anyway, the Forester might not be a hardcore off roader like the Landie, but it’s got proper four wheel drive, enough turbo power for full on drifting in the snow and an extra few inches ground clearance over an Impreza. It might not be completely snow-proof like the Landie, but you’ll be having so much fun you really couldn’t give a sh*t.

Average cost = £4000