I just found the best car description ever. It was for an old rusty Datsun ute:

It threw me off at first, but it just keeps getting better, i wouldn’t just post a picture because it was too big. But here it is:

It’s a not a rust-bucket, that would require structual integrity. Its been devolving in the backyard since 2008, and has not been registered since 2009. As if it knows how little hope it has, the thing has tried to bury itself many times - death by bogging. Its only inhabitants are a family of possibly lethal spiders and rodent gnawing has been noted on what little upholstery remains. Both seats are fully adjustable - in fact they haven’t even been properly attached. The paint job is great - an even coat of rust over the entire body with only a few lime green pray cans having attempted to hide it - almost a worse colour than its original poo and tan brown. Its tyres are balder than its owners head, and has been rotting long enough that the grass and weeds below it have accepted the car as one of their own. Its registration papers are an ancient artifact, as is the brake system - my daughter found this out the hard way and backed it into a tree. Though it is a ute I strongly advise you don’t try putting anything in the back for fear of disintegration. Possibly its only good point is that the original chassis is intact and works - mostly. Sometimes. You might struggle a bit.

I’m offering a minimal $2000 only, no negotiations, otherwise I’ll just let it bury itself next time.