Going Green? Get Yourself A Hummer

The Hummer was the worst type of bad car – one that wasn’t even so bad, it was good. (Aston Martin Cygnet, anyone?).

No, when you’ve built a car that’s so big, heavy, thirsty and offensive that even Americans aren’t buying enough of it, you know you’ve gone too far. Arnold Schwarzenegger used a fleet to cart around his massive frame and tiny shrunken-by-roids willy. Probably. ‘Nuff said.

Thing is, there’s always someone who thinks that all cars are good, or can be made good, like those correctional camps that sort out spoiled or delinquent children that need a swift slap with some manual labour and team building. Right now, the best way to mend sh*t cars is to make them electric, it seems.

The DeLorean DMC-12 was always hopeless, but when Doc Brown gave it a Flux Capacitor and electric power it didn’t do too badly, and now you can buy your own real-life electric DeLorean.

Same goes for Saab. The brand coughed up blood, died, and lo, thou hast risen again. Except with no tomb and stone; now, the Chinese are sticking batteries in 9-3s. Whatever floats your boat…

So, back to the Hummer. Can it be saved by a quick spark and some wires? Hell yeah, according to English tuners Prindiville. Usually these guys stick to aesthetic mods and full bespoke bodies for yer common Aventador, Porsche or Range Rover, but here they’ve flicked through the Argos catalogue, looked at one of those electric ride-on Jeeps for ages 3 and up, and made it road legal.

Seriously. This is a downsized, electric Hummer, with a wheelbase just 2.1m long. And it’s road tax and congestion charge exempt. To the South Bank!

Of course, this isn’t a close to being a Nissan Leaf – there have been no billions of quid’s-worth of investment or testing, so the range is only a paltry 40 miles, but then again, how far do you need to go when posing? You can only lap the King’s Road and Piccadilly Circus so many times before it gets dull, and let’s face it, in an electric mini-Hummer, posing is the name of the game. Three seats, zero emissions, and all the stares and ‘friendly waves’ you can handle.

Oh, the performance sucks too – it’s only good for 40mph. However, get a V8 Hummer to 40mph and it’d run out of fuel before you had the chance to get out of third gear, so that’s not too much of an issue.

The options list is a good laugh too. Tinted windows, chrome wheels, carbonfibre body kit – it’s all there. Even an extra-long charging cable in case you don’t want to be seen lunching too near your electric Hummer. Yeah. An electric HUMMER.

We think we need to lie down now…