Why I want an E92 M3 in my life.

As anyone with a passing interest in cars can tell you, the BMW M3 is one of the biggest halos of car world, alongside the Golf GTi and Mazda MX-5. And yes, as I’m writing this, I’ve got CT’s M3 shootout playing in another tab. Can you tell I’m an M3 fanboy yet?

Performance

Yes, it’s fast. It’s got a 4.0 Litre V8: effectively, an E60 M5 V10 with one cylinder taken off each bank. With about 414bhp (309kW) when it was new, it managed to get from 0-100km/h (0-62mph), officially, in 4.6 seconds, but people have managed to do that sprint (with the DCT ‘box, of course) in 3.9 seconds. 3.9 seconds! That’s borderline supercar territory, even today!

Class

The fact it’s an outright performance car doesn’t really affect the fact that it’s still classy AF. I described this a wrestler in a tuxedo and I think that analogy still fits the E92 M3. It’s tough, but it’s still classy.

Practicality

Even in coupe form, it’s still a practical car. The rear seats in the coupe fold down flat: just like a hatchback. Yes, it doesn’t mean it actually is a hatchback, but it’s the next best thing.

Noise

Perhaps the biggest selling point for me. The E92 M3’s S65 V8 just sings. Both the exhaust and the induction noise are heavenly. Amongst other things, this is one of the reasons why the M3 is held aloft in the car-guy world. The M3 has an almost iconic induction noise that any car guy could ID if they thought about it.

Comparison with the Audi RS4 and the Mercedes Benz C63 AMG

Now, here’s a conundrum. Both the previous-gen Audi RS4 and the first-gen Merc C63 AMG are around the same age, also German, also V8 engined and both, unlike the M3, are also available in an estate/wagon form. Critically, they’re also around the same sort of price as the M3s at the moment.

As you could probably gauge by my use of SuperGramps and the Double Unicorn as image replies and comments, I also love wagons. I can’t find anything wrong with them. If I had my sensible, wagon head on, I would walk right past the M3 and go for either the C63 or the RS4. But I don’t.

C63 vs. M3? No contest: I’ll have the M3. The C63 was/is only available with an automatic gearbox and has simply got too much torque. I get that the C63 does better skids than the M3, but most AMGs pre SLS Black Series seemed to have some kind of vendetta against their rear rubber hoops. Christ knows why: maybe the AMG rear wheels said something mean about AMG’s then-new girlfriend perhaps?

RS4 vs. M3? Now, this one is more interesting. The RS4 came out a full year before the E92 M3, sporting a Lamborghini-derived 4.2 Litre V8. Only available with a manual ‘box (‘cos, I read, if you wanted an automatic V8-powered Audi A4 body, you should’ve bought the S4), a similar vintage, also equipped with one of the best exhausts ever to come out of Europe, this fight between the Audi and the BMW is a lot closer. Interestingly, the RS3 made exactly the same amount of power (414bhp or 309kW) when it came out: can’t imagine why the BMW made the same amount of power.

But, there’s something I can’t put my finger on: why I’d have an RS4 over an M3. I think it’s because of the image with the RS4. Yes: it’s got a bit more of a ‘sleeper’ feel than the M3 Coupe. But the M3 doesn’t exactly scream “look at me” now, does it? I can see why people like the RS4. I really do, but I think I like the M3 just a little bit more. Nothing personal against the RS4. If someone asked me if I’d like an RS4 to run, no strings attached, I still wouldn’t say no.

Conclusion

If someone told me that I could have about $50000 to spend on any car I wanted, I would head straight to CarSales and look up manual E92s. Yes, in Australia: a country famous for being a nanny state and everything being more expensive for no foreseeable reason that I can fathom: early E92s are kicking around for about $50000AUD. That’s brand-new Commodore SS money for an M3. Where do I sign again?

In all seriousness, I don’t think the 6.2 Litre C63 AMG or the B6 RS4 are bad cars: far from it. I respect both the RS4 and C63 AMG, but I still respect the E92 M3 more. No real reason: it’s just my opinion. Opinions can never be wrong: when you state an opinion as fact, then it’s wrong, but an opinion outright can never be wrong.

I know we’ve said that we should never drive our heroes, because our expectations can fall short when compared with reality. I know this, because almost everything I imagine has a set of massive t!ts that lactate creamed rice.