5 Hoonable V12s You Can Buy For £5000

Sunday night’s edition of Top Gear saw something hitherto unknown in the history of mankind (probably). And no, we’re not talking about an item which didn’t include a single car. We are of course talking about Clarkson’s discovery of a car that, supposedly, has too much power.

That was exactly what he of the Brillo-pad hair and disturbingly tight denim suggested the problem was with Ferrari’s new F12, as he went flying through the air off the top of a sizeable yump somewhere in “Hertfordshire”. And fault for such a heinous crime (or something) must lay with the Ferrari F12’s utterly lovely-looking 6.3-litre V12 powerplant.

Of course, the F12’s V12 is probably a smidge outside of the envelope marked ‘financially viable’ for most of us. But you might be surprised to find out that you don’t have to be loaded to be able to afford a car with twelve whole cylinders to itself. Have a butchers at these bargain twelve-bangers to see what we mean.

1. Daimler Double Six (Series III)

We could have chosen the later XJ40 or the much newer X300 to represent Jag’s classic saloon here, but frankly, the Series III, with its styling dating back to the original, perfectly-proportioned XJ6, is the coolest of the lot. The Daimler Double Six was the pinnacle of the Jaguar range for many years, combining the XJ12’s twelve-pot HE (or ‘High Efficiency’, supposedly) mill with some of the finest materials and craftsmanship inside. The result was one of the swankiest luxury saloons short of a Roller or a Bentley. And a seriously cool-sounding name.

This one looks like a sound buy for our budget. Don’t think this is going to be a worry-free purchase, though; Jaguar had a terrible reputation for reliability at the time these were made, and rust was rife, so be prepared to spend a bit on maintaining this old girl. It’ll be worth it, though – just look at those voluptuous lines, that gleaming black paintwork, the thick swathes of wood’n’leather...I need to lie down.

2. BMW 750i (E32/E38)

Most sensible used car buyers feel faint at the thought of the electrical complexity and mechanical liability of these uber-barges of the ’90s. But we’re not sensible used car buyers, and frankly, it’s people like us who get to benefit from the serious depreciation hit the 750i has had to take, a hit which makes it – faintly unbelievably – the most easily accessible car here. Pick an extended-wheelbase ‘L’ and you’ll even get rear seat legroom you could lose a rhino in.

Laden with gadgets, these exec expresses still look refined and handsome today, with that classic whisper of aggression in the front-end that defined all ’90s BMs. The Germans call it ‘uberholprestige’, which roughly translates as ‘the get-the-f***-outta-my-way factor’, and whether you pick the sharky E32 with the M70 V12 or a slick E38 with the later M73 like this one, you’ll have it by the bucketload. Buy it, love it, hope to God nothing goes wrong with it.

3. BMW 850i

That same advice could be offered for our next candidate, and there’s a very good reason: the 850i features many of the same parts as the E38 750i under the skin, with similar levels of electrical and mechanical complexity (although early cars like this one actually used the E32’s M70 engine). But where any 750i is subtle and understated, the 850i is clothed in a slick two-door suit that’s looking better with every year that goes by. You get pop-up headlights, pillarless windows, blistered arches and a gloriously ’80s wrap-around interior. OK, so you don’t get quite as many toys as you do in the 7, but foregoing the telly is a small price to pay when it looks this good.

Even we can’t pretend that buying an 850i like this one is going to be a worry-free decision. But in between cash injections, you’ll certainly have fun – and you’ll be driving a car that looks like it cost three times as much.

4. Jaguar XJ-S V12

If the 850i’s a bit gauche for you and you fancy something a little more upper crust, the Jaguar XJ-S (or XJS, if it was made after 1991) is worth a good, long look. It shares its engine with the Daimler Double Six we saw earlier, and while the XJ-S’s styling has always been an acquired taste, it’s one that more and more people are acquiring as time goes on. And let’s face it, despite being 24 years old, this one still wouldn’t look out of place parked in front of the local manor house, would it?

Just make sure you get rid of that rather duff-looking leaper and replace it with the standard bonnet badge. It’s all a question of taste, daahhling. Oh, and while you’re there, check for any overheating problems as the cooling system on the V12 is rather fragile. And of course, at the faintest hint of rust problems, walk away.

5. Mercedes-Benz CL600 (C215)

Everything here just a little too...well...old for you? Fear not. We’re about to bring things right up-to-date with our final pick: the C215 Merc CL600.

Yes, rather astonishingly, you can now pick up one of these massive Mercs for under five large. This one looks a prime example. And while we’d be slightly concerned about big bills lurking around the corner – which would warrant a full professional inspection before purchase – this one seems like a bit of a steal. Mileage is a touch on the high side, maybe, and someone’s bolted on some AMG gubbins that shouldn’t be there, but look what you get: 362bhp, 391lb ft, and 0-62mph in under six seconds. And thanks to Active Cylinder Control, which shuts down six of its cylinders when they're not needed, it’ll even be reasonably economical. Maybe. Oh come on, we can dream, can’t we?