Why The G-Wiz Is The World's Ugliest Car

Oh look, a G-Wiz holding up traffic. Who'da thunk it?

I have a confession to make: I'm a bit of an environmentalist.

Not a total, hemp-panted, whale-snogging, chained-to-a-tree environmentalist, you understand. More of a switching unused lights off, recycling when I can, feels-slightly-guilty-when-he-enjoys-driving-a-V8 sort of environmentalist. I don't believe people in a free country should have to compromise their way of life to "do their bit", but I do take satisfaction from people making an informed choice to change their lifestyle in a way that reduces their environmental impact.

And now, in an effort to regain a few petrolhead points for those of you who've stuck around this long, I'm going to tell you why the Reva G-Wiz is the most hateful, ugly, atrocious box of tragic awfulness ever to grace the roads.

It's exactly because I'm a bit of an eco-weenie that I hate it with such a fiery passion. The number one, guaranteed way to put people off driving a low-emissions vehicle is to make one of the movement's figureheads something that nobody in their right mind would drive.

A G-Wiz ruining London, yesterday (Image: flickr user nataliej)

The Prius does this to an extent but on a basic level it's really not a bad vehicle. It's comfortable, economical and incredibly reliable - love or hate it these are all worthy qualities in a car.

But the G-Wiz just doesn't have any worthy qualities. It doesn't go very quickly, it doesn't handle. Sure, it probably costs pennies to run, but then so does a bicycle. Even the tightest lycra shorts displaying your tiny package and pathetic thighs to the world will afford you more dignity than rocking up to work in a G-Wiz.

Another G-Wiz, ruining yet another London location (Image: flickr user Oscar the Goat)

And even if some oik nicks one of your wheels during the day, your incomplete bike will look less tragic chained to a lamppost than a G-Wiz with its charging cable spiralling from its arse.

It couldn't look any more daft if it tried. Every G-Wiz looks a bit like one of those stupid photoshopped shortened vehicles, but even if it were built to a proper scale it'd still look both bland and ungainly at once.

It's even more irritating because small cars don't have to look misshapen - both the Smart fortwo and Toyota iQ are neat enough bits of product design, and you'd hardly say they're difficult enough to park that an even shorter vehicle is required. And doorless or not, the Renault Twizy shows it is possible to make something truly small and electric with a bit of style. Hell, the G-Wiz is more expensive than a Twizy, so it's not even a money issue.

Some proper transport. And a G-Wiz (Top Gear via imcdb.com)

There's just no visual interest. That it has alloy wheels is almost an insult, the very definition of polishing a turd. And the proportions are all wrong - top heavy, too narrow, under-wheeled on those fancy-pants alloys, and in profile it appears to be leaning back, as if it's terrified of the road in front of it. Which it probably is, because the road is full of proper cars.

I don't care if you're a G-Wiz owner reading this and you're now bashing furiously on the keyboard, telling me I've missed the point.

You've missed the point. For all the good you think you're doing, by buying a G-Wiz you're just putting off dozens more well-meaning people from the idea of ever driving an electric car themselves. And how green is that, really?