A Supercar's Worst Nightmare: Traffic

Supercars. Don’t we just love ‘em? Most can hit 60mph in less time than it just took you to read this sentence. 200mph was once a milestone, land speed record that chasers lost their lives vainly trying to surpass. Now it’s routine spec-sheet fodder for any self-respecting Ferrari, Lambo, or Pagani. That’s part of the reason we love supercars, truth be told – numbers. I was pretty ropey in Maths classes at school, but if there are any sums to be done, then call me Einstein on deciphering power to weight ratios and top speed rankings.

I’d like to see a figure though, for how many supercars ever push 20mph yet alone the double-ton. I’m talking about the city-dwellers with this rant, cough editorial, stemming mainly from a lovely couple of weekends I spent in West London early last month.

Diamond Jubilee. God save the Queen. And God save the highly-strung exotica I spotted all day sucking on the toxic whisps being excreted from the top gear in Monsieur's hot wheels. Bentley Continentals, Aston Vantages, DBSs, Merc SLSs and a Ferrari 599, all shuffling along in gridlock with the usual Euro-boxes and London cabs.

As I sweltered in what has turned out to be the entire British summer of 2012, I was – being a petrolhead sad-case – feeling sympathetic for the engineering idling nearby; the tolerances having to be considered, the sheer heat having to be managed as it billowed from eight, ten, twelve cylinder engines and exhausts, and the prestigious power that hundreds of thousands of pounds-worth of gearboxes – set up to shift cogs in instances imperceptible to a human – were having to eeeek out onto the road as their lazy drivers lurched forward impatiently.

Makes you think, doesn’t it? Ferrari has completely torn up the rulebook on front-engined GT cars with the new F12. It’s frankly made Aston Martin look completely ridiculous. With 730bhp, the F12 bests Enzo, Carrera GT, Aventador – even McLaren F1 and Koenigsegg CC. Its weight distribution is comparable to that of a mid-engined, no-compromise supercar. And it’ll lap Fiorano faster than any Ferrari road car before it. 10 years ago it would have set competitive GT-class qualifying times at Le Mans. But how much have Ferrari spent achieving such insane performance, versus the consideration it can’t be allowed to overheat, grumble, or stall as it chunters along in Abu Dhabi, London or Monaco for hour after hour, in soggy smog or searing desert sun?

It’s arguably more impressive that the F12, Veyron, MP4-12C and all their ilk can cope at all with urban environments, where their rarity and obvious expense is most effective, as a pouch for posing, not performing. Why else would McLaren make sure you can drop the 12C Spider’s top at up to 18mph, and design the rear deck around a glass porthole for engine peep-show porn?

If that’s the case – if the posh end of cities really is the yuppie home of the supercar, then low-speed manners really must be top of de Montezmelo and Ron Dennis’ list, and that’s an admirable engineering challenge to overcome of sorts.

Sod the active aero and the ceramic brakes, a carbon fibre parking permit holder is the next real must-have.