What's Your Euro 2012 Car Dream Team?

As an Englishman, you’re born with the right to believe you know better than any given English football manager. It’s a fact: a misspent youth watching the national side disappoint and subsequently proving the right way to do it on FIFA, makes everyone an expert. But what about a 2012 Euros car-based dream team? Which cars best suit the positions of Europe’s footballing elite? Here’s Car Throttle’s Euro 2012 Dream Team:

Goalkeeper: Vauxhall Zafira VXR

You need two skills to be a good goalkeeper: a safe pair of hands and the slight mental streak it takes to throw yourself towards onrushing men who are trying to punt a ball past you. Wearing sharp metal studs. So the world’s fastest people carrier is a fine four-wheeled equivalent. A safe and secure place for the kids and all their gubbins, but packing a ludicrous 237bhp to prove mumsy and mad can coexist. Calm and collected – and crazy – Zafira VXR goes in goal.

Defender: Mercedes CL63 AMG

Defenders shouldn’t just be big, intimidating and powerful. Nowadays, we’re used to most being controversial, tabloid-friendly loverats with expensive taste in possessions and cheap taste in women. A Merc CL63 is a prodigiously vulgar machine if you like that sort of thing; screaming wealth when it should be a subtle, understated machine going about its business on the quiet. A blunt bruiser with questionable moral codes? CL63 is defending.

Defender: Land Rover Defender

Of course, the clue's in the name, but the Defender's also a wily old machine which isn't bettered by many of its younger competitors at the real job it's there to do - tackle (off road routes). It's more of an icon than any human left-back, that's for sure.

Defender: BMW 1M

Defenders (the footballing kind) tend to be an ugly bunch. Still, if you can scare and boss competitors off the ball rather than with finesse and skill, then just do whatever works for you, right? BMW's squat, stout 1M is a little terrier of a machine with no-nonsense spec and real marmite looks. Have it!

Defender: RenaultSport Twingo

Tiny but mighty, the RS Twingo is nimble enough to outpoint much more expensive sporting machinery. For a car that punches above its weight, and toils away to net true drive pleasure for a bargain fee, the RS Twingo is an unlikely but worthy member of the team.

Midfield: BMW M3

A good midfielder has pace, stamina, the foresight and creativity to dictate play from the centre, can drop back when required, or lead from the front. So a motoring midfielder should be practical yet aggressive, and well-respected by all its peers. In automotive circles few names carry mystique and worship like BMW M cars, and the M3 has been winning group tests in every generation since its birth in the 1980s. It’s got the experience, the talent, and one hell of a good record in (on?) the field.

Winger: Ferrari 458 Italia

Pacey, nimble, and packed full of scintillating tricks, the 458 is an obvious choice as a winger. Like any true footballing great, it's heroically flawless record in competition striking fear into the hearts of competitors even before they square up to each other. Plus, since it’s Italian, flamboyant, and likely to be a livewire, the entertainment value is here in spades too. Yup, it’s another good billing for the Fezza 458. Why always me?

Midfielder: BMW Art Cars

Not only do some of the famous art cars have a true, classic sporting pedigree, but they show true creativity and unique style - how perfect is that for forming attacks in the dream team? Creativity breeds sexy football, so a masterpiece on wheels is worthy of the shirt.

Midfielder: Koenigsegg Agera R

Sweden might be footballing underdogs, but England had never beaten them in competitive tournament football until Euro 2012. So, the unlikely Swedish supercar, with an outrageous turn of pace and talent only the bravest can attempt to tame has to be worth a place on the team sheet. A live-wire and unpredictable yes, but there's not much that can keep up.

Striker #1: Mercedes SLS AMG

Not only is the SLS a blunt instrument – perfect footballing material, no? – but its gullwing doors are perfect for the sort of trademark passionate goal celebration all good strikers need. And it’s German, so you could totally count on it in a penalty shootout. Look out for it playing against its half-English half-brother – the McLaren SLR – always hamstrung by a ridiculously high transfer fee.

Striker #2: LCC Rocket

There’s always a wild card in the squad, someone with a good record but not much coverage who sets out to make a name for themselves on the international stage. Enter the Light Car Company Rocket. Gordon Murray may be remembered more for the seminal McLaren F1, but his delightfully elegant tandem two-seater shows how lithe, deft dynamics honed and trained towards ultimate performance can be a goal worth striving for. It’s quite possibly one of the most enticing fun machines ever made. Back of the net!

So, how did we do? Think you've got a better team selection and Euro line-up? We want to hear about it in the comments below!