My Realistic Fantasy Garage

I am entirely aware of the fact that "realistic" and "fantasy" are antonyms. A "Fantasy" garage is packed with the best of the best, picked for possessing an all-star list of attributes.  Like a Fantasy Football team, I suppose.  A realistic fantasy garage can't exist, because in the real world circumstances are never ideal for average people.  Still, we can all dream - even if we're dreaming small.  I've never had a problem deriving the basic joy of driving from any automobile (possible exceptions include a Prius and a Cavalier) and thus I've never had trouble dreaming small.

For me, this is simply a list of cars that I plan to own at some point in the future.  There aren't any Pagani Zonda's or Ford GT's or $100k V12 Benzes.  These are all attainable, entertaining cars.  I suppose everyone's realistic fantasy garage would be different, so let me know yours in the comments.

Saab 9000 Aero (1993-1997)

Duh, a Saab.  Of course.  But despite it's ancient roots (Lancia Thema? Alfa 164?  Wow...), the Saab 9000 Aero still has some pretty modern numbers.  For instance, under the hood beats Saab's tweaked and boosted 2.3L twin-cam 16v straight-four.  Puffing through a big Mitsu TD04 turbocharger (in place of the smaller Garrett T25), the Aero pumps out 225bhp at 5,000 rpm, and a hefty 350nM (258lb-ft) at an "are you serious?" 1900 rpm.  So despite having an engine that shares roots with the Triumph Dolomite, the 9000 Aero was a serious piece of performance hardware when it came out back in '93.  That huge fat band of mid-range torque gave the 9000 Aero some crazy passing power: independent testing confirmed the 9000 Aero was faster from 50-75 than a 911 Carrera 4 or Ferrari Testarossa.

And then there was the interior.  Perhaps the most comfortable seats ever fitted to a production vehicle reside within the 9000's comfy interior.  8-way power adjustable units courtesy of Recaro are not only great on the back, but look like leather-clad combat armor.  And when you slipped the clutch out and the turbo Saab rocketed it's way to 100km/h in 6.5 seconds, you hardly even notice there's enough room in the back for just about anything you'll really need to carry with the seats folded.  The 9000's all-around appeal as a fast, innocuous, useful, luxurious and interesting daily driver has really yet to be matched for me - although the not-for-America Audi S5 Sportback comes close.

The best part?  9000 Aero's aren't really worth much of anything.  Case in point: this '96 9000 CSE (5-door) Aero 5-speed.  Great condition (from the looks of it), 111k on the clock, 5 grand.  What else you can buy for 5 grand will be this nice?  And let's not even get into things like BSR software, 3" downpipes, ported TD04 housings, or... well...

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTXOZ7BQ-WY

Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.  I feel that a 9000 Aero would corrupt me rather quickly...

Ford SHO Taurus (89-95)

As you read further down this list, you'll realize I have a thing for Yamaha-powered cars.  There's a reason for this - Yamaha knows how to throw together a motor.  Ford knew this in the eighties.  They were planning a mid-engine RWD 2-seater to compete with the Fiero, but midway through development the project was canned in favor of irons in other fires.  Ford had contracted Yamaha to build twin-cam V6's for the stillborn sports car, and were on the hook for the motors.  Where to put them, then?

Why, the Taurus, of course!  It didn't make much sense to put a high-winding performance engine in Ford's middle-of-the-road family sedan, but who isn't glad they did anyway?  They called it the SHO, which stood for Super High Output.  The 3.0L 24v V6 cranked out 220bhp at a peaky (for the times) 6000rpm, and 200lb-ft of torque at 4800.  The SHO's motor wasn't just about the numbers, though.  For one thing, in testing the Yamaha bent-six was proven to run safely and smoothly at speeds up to 8500 rpm; Ford capped the rev-limited to 7000rpm to avoid having the Ford-supplied ancilliaries self-destructing because they couldn't keep up.  It was a marvelous engine, and was also quite a sight to see - and a sound to hear.

That tangle of snakes is the long-runner intake manifold, which is part of the reason the SHO had the upper-range lungs lacking in other Ford motors of the time.  By which I mean, the SHO was making peak power well past a 302's redline.  Acceleration was good - a 5-speed 3.0L SHO would do the 0-60 deed in under 7 seconds - and the sound that eminated from the SHO's rear was entirely un-Taurus.  As you'll see, Yamaha has a way with engine notes.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CkITf3I0eM

Volvo 850 T-5R (1995)

Perhaps I'm too picky in specifying one year, one body style, one trim level, and one color of a car for my fantasy garage.  But when that combination renders you this:

Sometimes it pays to sweat the details.  I mean, even if you hate Volvos (and I know some of you do), you have to admit that this is one badass-looking wagon.  The 850 T-5R was an experiment on Volvo's part, a litmus test to see if there was really a market for a hot-rod Volvo.  A total of5,500 T5-R's were produced for worldwide consumption in 1995.  2,500 in cream yellow (with only 185 going to the US market), 2,500 in black (1,850 to the US market) and 500 Emerald Green R's - none of which ever saw US roads.  This  makes a cream yellow T-5R wagon about as rare as a democrat in Alabama.

As you'd expect with such a long name, the 850 T-5R is the top of the performance range for the 850 series.  It added a few modifications to increase the performance of the Turbo, along with some aesthetic touches to differentiate the T-5R from standard 850's.  On the performance side of things, the regular Turbo's 2.3L 20v I5 received a bump from 222bhp to 240bhp (250 in the Euro market) via software changes that increase the turbo-boost threshold by 3psi in 3rd and 4th gear.  Considering that the normal 850 Turbo had enough trouble not lighting up it's inside tire when you turned and steered at the same time, that's perhaps for the best.

Result?  The 0-60 time is about the same as the regular 850 Turbo (just under 7 seconds), but the top speed of this crazy banana-yellow kid hauler moved up to 153mph. That's right, a yellow 153mph Volvo Wagon. And that's not even taking into consideration exactly how awesome an uncorked Volvo Turbo I5 sounds when you get on it - which, by the way, is faintly ridiculous.

On the looks and luxury side of things, the 850 T-5R received a redesigned front fascia with an incorporated chin spoiler and foglights, lower body cladding and a new rear bumper that integrates the exhaust pipe.  The T-5R also rolls on what are perhaps my favorite OEM wheels ever, 17x7" anthracite-grey alloys called Titan's.  Inside, there are leather-and-alcantara seats, wood trim, seat heaters, a CD changer, and all the other luxury accoutrement you'd expect in a mid-ninties euro hotrod.

Underneath the tons of turbo torque steer and howling 5-banger, though, it's still a Volvo 850 wagon, which means there's comfortable space for 5 passengers, and if you fold the rear seats flat, you can fit a shifter cart in the back.  What other 153mph sports cars can you say that about?

It gets even more tempting when you think about adding aftermarket goodies and software.  iPd's software for the B5235T5 cranks up the boost (from max 12psi in the T-5R to 14.5) and fueling levels, and power jumps to 275, while torque increases from 236lb-ft up to 280.  iPd claims their software will lop nearly a second off the T-5R's 0-60 time (from 7.0 to 6.2) with negligible effects on fuel consumption.  Then there are aquamist methanol injection kits, upgraded intercoolers, bigger injectors, cams... you get the point.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CovXypz1d70

The problem with the T-5R is that it's easier to simply make one than find one.  Regular 850 Turbo's aren't really hard to find; but with only about 50 cream yellow wagons in the US (and who knows how many are left!), you might be searching for months.  Whereas you can buy the R bodykit from Volvo, get your regular T-5 or Turbo ECU chipped by iPd to deliver the same power, and get some wheels.  Still, the Volvo gods were smiling upon me when I found this '95 yellow T-5R wagon online here.  $4,950 is a lot for a 14 year old Volvo with 200k on the clock, but I'd say it's worth it.

2000-2005 Toyota Celica GT-S

The image of the Celica in the US market is sort of a girlier version of the Honda Prelude.  It's always been a (with few exceptions) relatively attractive 2-door four seater sports coupe, usually offered with uninspiring drivetrains and so-so handling but great fuel economy and typical Toyota dependability.

Thankfully, Toyota decided not to let the Celica go out with a whimper, but rather with a most impressive bang.  When the seventh-generation Celica debuted for the 2000 model year, it was vastly different than the car it replaced.  Gone was the bulbous, rounded jelly-bean styling and pokey Camry-sourced engines; the new Celica was lithe and slick-looking, almost like it was distorted from being fired out of a cannon.  Of course, there was the pokey base model for the secretarys who wanted something cute, but when specs came out for the GT-S model, enthusiasts took notice.

There was a 1.8L 16v straight-four under the hood (the same size as the GT's motor), but rather than 138bhp, it offered 180bhp at a lofty 7600rpm.  Torque output was modest at 133lb-ft, but the engine had an astronomical 8400rpm redline.  It wasn't very Toyota; most of their performance engines were low-revvers with big turbos.  In reality, the 2ZZ-GE was mostly Yamaha.  Toyota contracted the build of a higher-performance motor to the firm, and they delivered.  It was a silky-smooth revver, and when it hit the hot cam (thanks, variable valve timing) it howled like it was hungry and sprinted to the rev limiter with amazing speed.

Thanks to the low 2,400lb curb weight, the GT-S was quite rapid, with sub-7 second 0-60 times being easily acheived.  It wasn't just a straight-line car, though: the 7th-generation Celica is blessed with one of the best handling FWD chassis the world has yet seen.  With simple suspension modifications and sticky tires, Celicas have no trouble pulling more than 1.0g of lateral acceleration, and they have very balanced and neutral handling characteristics.

My personal experience with a Celica GT-S was with a mildly modified early-build model, and it was eye-opening.  Onramps I could take at 45mph at the limit of adhesion in my 900 (admittedly not the best handling car, but certainly pretty agile) were dispatched at 70mph without so much as a hint of tire slip.  The sound and rev-happy nature of the Yamaha motor is world-class, and acceleration feels very impressive.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inznUkQ-fks

Combine all this with a bountiful aftermarket, great fuel economy, a delightful short-throw 6-speed shifter, and rock-solid reliability, and you've got a serious winner.  The GT-S is a lot easier to find than most of the other weird stuff on this list, and I found a clean 2000 GT-S 6-speed pretty close to me in great condition for $8,900.  It's a little pricier than some of the other things here, but it's also newer and most certainly more dependable.  You can check out the ad here.

Dodge Dakota

Ok, I know this a bit left field - even for me.  But here me out here.  Everyone needs a truck in their "fantasy garage" - after all, even in your fantasy, you need something to tow your toys to the track, right?  And while my full-on fantasy garage truck would most likely be a Banks-tuned Cummins Diesel Ram of some sort (there's something about 1000 lb-ft of torque that I find appealing), in real life, you don't need that much size or power.

And I figure, if you're going to have a truck, it should be fun and useful.  So what I'd look for would be a late-90's Dakota, single cab, short bed, 2WD, with the optional 318ci V8 and a 5-speed manual.  It's just about the most fun you can have in a small truck short of a Lightning.  The 5.2L pushrod V8 may be anvil-simple, but it's reliable as death and taxes, and produces a whole bucket-load of torque.  In a light chassis (there's not all that much to a single cab/short bed Dakota), it's actually a reasonably entertaining powertrain.  Plus, there's nothing quite like the sound of a Mopar small-block with headers, 3" pipes and Flowmasters.  And if it got boring, there's always a Paxton supercharger.

How much should you pay for a Dakota?  Well, with today's depressed market - and the fact that no one wants a 17mpg compact pickup - I'd say paying any more than 4 grand for one in great condition would be a sign of mental retardation.  Just because it's unpopular doesn't mean it's entirely without merit.  It's got impressive payload (about 3/4 ton depending on configuration), it can tow well above it's weight, and it'll do a wicked burnout.  What more do you want?

If you all like the general idea of this article, I might make it a series that continues in the future.  Please leave your $0.02 in the comments section below!