Mr Regular: 10 Things I Learned About Running A YouTube Car Show

1. People want to turn a car shoot into a party

Any reason to bring out your fun weekend car is an excuse to also drink libations out of paper bags. I remember this one time I was supposed to meet two people to film two cars. When I arrived at the location, there were eight people and four cars. One person told a friend and that person told a friend and soon the parking lot looked like a car-meet. I now tell people not to bring an entourage because…

2. Crowds attract crowds

‘Hey, what’s going on over there?’ a bystander thinks. ‘There’s a bunch of people grouped around some old hoopie. They’re up to something for sure. I’m gonna check it out. I’m going to get to the bottom of this. I have a right to know. Here I come.’ This is unavoidable because…

3. There will be Lookie-Loos

A Lookie-Loo (alt. Looky-loo) is someone who gawks at something without directly interacting. Estate agents use this term for people who show up to an open house with no intention of buying. A lookie-loo won’t say anything or even take a card. The lookie-loo will poke around the house until being asked to leave. Lookie-Loos are also found on sidewalks by traffic accidents and burning homes.

When I film a car while it is stationary, the lookie-loos will appear after about 15 to 20 minutes. They will stand 20 metres away and stare. Lookie-Loos have a particular way of staring. Your garden variety person will look at other people furtively; periodically checking their phone, looking away, or rummaging in their backpack to appear disinterested. Lookie-Loos have no interest in inconspicuousness. They will face you and stare with both eyes. They will place their belongings on the ground by their feet. Some fold their arms, most don’t, choosing instead to dangle their arms at their sides where breezes blow them about like fleshy wind chimes.

The only way to solve this problem is by…

4. Introducing yourself to bystanders

Are you shooting in a public space? Are there other people around? Do the following and lookie-loos will become disinterested in you. Walk up to people, while holding your camera and wearing a smile. “Hello, my name is Joe Blo. I just wanted to let you know that I’m taking pictures of my friend’s sports car over there. So, if you see me walking around with this (motion to your camera) and if the car is driving around slowly, that’s what’s going on. I just didn’t want you to have to wonder.”

The bystanders will usually say: “Oh, ok…I…didn’t even notice.” If the bystander gets nosy and asks “What are you taking pictures for?” You say: “I am taking pictures for my portfolio.” You’re not lying and neither am I. Your YouTube channel is an online portfolio of your work, is it not?

Soothing over the public is easier if you…

5. Dress like a young Republican

There is a reason Jalopnik’s uniform is a checkered shirt tucked into tan slacks with a dark brown belt, boat shoes, cut and combed hair and contemporary eyeglasses. This look says: “I’m a good boy.”

If the weather is colder, I will wear a tasteful sweater underneath a soft brown leather jacket or heavy blazer. If I need a hat, it will be a festive tassel hat. I’m so whimsical! Next stop, the bingo hall to massage the largest group of registered voters. Yes, sir.

Now on to the cars themselves.

6. People want to show you their driving skill

I have a safety speech that I give to every volunteer. It’s a list of do’s and don’ts. No burning out. No revving your engine. No brake stands. No handbrake turns. No ‘oops my foot slipped off the clutch.’ No ‘I didn’t mean to do that.’ No rolling up with your music blasting. No sharp turns. No weaving left and right like you’re an F1 driver warming up his tyres behind a pace-car.

If you are filming on private land, like Tax The Rich, the rules change. For the rest of us, we must obey the rules of common decency. This is a tall-order sometimes because…

7. People drive with no inspection and expired tags

I learned this very quickly. I was filming a car last year when I noticed that the inspection sticker was expired. I walked to the back of the car and looked at the registration sticker on the license plate. It was dated last year.

“You know your tag is old?” I asked the volunteer. “Yea…I’ve been meaning to take care of that,” he said. I went back to taking pictures and video. In my head, I screamed. “You’ve been MEANING to take care of that?! How hard is it to fill out a form (that is half filled already by the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation), write a check, lick an envelope, and stick on a stamp? Are you so high that all that, plus putting that envelope in the mailbox, is too much? Do you have to schedule time to receive the return letter from PennDot which contains a peel-and-stick good-job A+ funtime sticker to affix to the lower left corner of your license plate?

8. Show up on time

This is for me. This is for you, if you are thinking of running your own YouTube show. Your volunteers are your bread and butter. They are showing up for you. They owe you nothing and you owe them everything. They get to be late, I don’t. If I say to a volunteer: “I will be there at noon,” that means I will be there a little bit before noon. Never make your volunteers wait. Never make your fans wait either…

9. Release your content on time

If you say “A new video every Monday,” that means: put down the bowl and work. One of the best compliments I received was this email: “No matter what is going on in my life, there will always be a new Regular Car Reviews every Monday. I just wanted to thank you for being awesome. You got me through some rough times.”

Confession: I missed some Mondays when we were on a roadtrip to Boulder, Colorado and back. To make up for it, we posted lots of travel videos along the way.

10. Expect internet swindlers

‘My name is Frank Funkface with www.poopsix.gov.

I’m messaging you because we think your YouTube work looks great, and we’d like to help you grow. Us here at www.speedcar.poopsix.gov have partnered with ChristLife TV to use the iconic BROWN brand to build a new network focused on cars, ham sandwiches, Glory to God on Highest, and RallyX. We’ll work with you to grow your brand through advertising, promotion, and more.

You’ll also be featured on www.lockjaw.speedcar.poopsix.gov. We’d love to send you our partner overview so you can learn more about this opportunity. Please email us back at marks@whatwhat.lockjaw.speedcar.poopsix.gov or message back on our Facebook. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Have a great day.’