Life With An Old Car, Part 2: The Cheepnessss

Some of our readers may know that for a while, I ran another website called SaabSnaab. (Yeah, isn't that clever?)  Sadly, SaabSnaab has since lapsed into non-existance while I figure out what I'm going to do next for my own site, but in the mean time I think that CarThrottle is a reasonable place to spout my disturbing Saab-related ramblings.  After all, we've got a wonderfully eclectic mixture of readers with interests everywhere between Tesla and Galant VR-4's; this post is bound to resonate with someone.  I'm actually making this post on Brian's behalf, who requested a continuation of my previous Life With An Old Car article via email.  This is a continuation of my observations in Part 1.

A Cool Old Car Is Less Than The Downpayment Of A New, Boring Car.

For real.  I can pick up a freakin' nice C900 for less than a reasonable, "I don't want to be upside down on a stupid loan" payment on a "please kill me" torture box like a Yaris.  Want some examples?  Of course you do.

Mildly overpriced at $4,200, I'm still tempted nevertheless by this '93 (second-to-last-year) C900 SE Turbo 'Vert.  It looks clean enough to eat off of, I can't spot any rust, and the top goes up and down.

Plus, it's only got 117k on the chassis, the trans was rebuilt at 87k, it had a valve job done at 94k, and apparently has a full service history with receipts.  Emerald Green is a great color for a C900 'Vert.  Plus, what else can you get you'd actually enjoy for $4,200?  Not a whole lot.

Or how about this '93 900S 4-door?  It's only got 86k on the clock.  $2,500 for a classic low-mileage running Saab in a relatively rare body style?  Gee, I dunno, that Hyundai Accent is looking good...  not.

I bet you could talk this dealer down to 2k in cash and walk away with a straight, good condition Saab that would run for another 300k miles easy.  Shame about the automatic, but with the ease of dropping the engine/trans in these cars it's not an impossible thing to fix.  Just swap in a 16v Turbo/5 speed combo in one fell swoop, and you'd have something of a sleeper!

Saabs not really your cup of weird European tea?  How about an original Audi S-car?

This was the original S4, not some twin-turbo V6 load of maintenance problems.  (Just kidding; B5 S4's are amazing cars... when they're running.)  It was the hot-rod version of the C4-chassis Audi 100 (the car that preceeded the original A6), but instead of a dull, unreliable Audi V6 it had the AAN.  For those not familiar with Audi nomenclature, that was the very last of the classic 20-valve inline-5 Turbo motors that Audi made.  These engines define the term bullet-proof.  Plus, they made 227bhp/236lb-ft before you bolt on a big turbo, they rev out to 7,000rpm, and sound amazing.  This '94 S4 Sedan offers world-class performance, solidity, and luxury for $2,500.  It's already got a quarter-million on the odometer, and with proper care and feeding it's ready for another.  It's had a whole bunch of recent maintenance: the crucial timing belt/water pump combo, plus some new brake hardware, as well as a new radiator and power steering pump.   You could put together a 500whp UrS4/S6 for the price of a down payment and a few car payments on a Honda Fit.  See where I'm going here?

How about something rear-wheel-drive, sexy, with a huge howling straight six?  How about a 5-speed manual, extensive race heritage, near-perfect shape, for the price of a new Civic?  Take a look at this mint 1988 BMW M6.  This has the M1-derived 3.5L 24v straight six with race-style individual throttle bodies, a heavy-duty five speed manual, an LSD rear end, BBS gold cross-spoke alloy wheels (crucial!) and a barely-broken-in 117k on the clock.  Wanna talk about being on the right end of depreciation?  This car stickered for $59k... in 1988.  That'd be $105,626 in today's money.  The pricetag for this meticulously maintaned bad-ass Bimmer?  $16,750.  Do want.

Maintenance Can Be Shocking...ly cheap.

An old car might seem like a headache to maintain, and sometimes they can be.  But it's only because old stuff breaks more frequently than new stuff - pretty logical.  Thankfully, when old stuff breaks, it's a whole lot cheaper to fix than when new stuff breaks.  The water pump went out on my SPG last year (in pretty dramatic fashion, the gasket blew with a loud "bang" and it started dumping coolant like a sieve).  I replaced it in my driveway.  Total cost?  $146, including the pump, gasket, new belts, and 2 gallons of Mercedes-Benz coolant (the good stuff.)  Water pump goes out on your BMW?  I'd bank probably ten times that much to get it replaced at your local dealer.

How about brakes?  Front discs for the 900: $25 a piece.  Rears?  Pricier, oh my god, at $29 a piece.  Pads?  Same story.  I don't have to dump $600 on new brake hardware after I cook my pads on Tail of the Dragon.  A clutch kit?  $150  including clutch, pressure plate, throwout bearing, and clutch tool for an Exedy or Sachs OEM clutch on eBay.  Plus, the clutch is on the front, so you can do it in your driveway- with basic hand tools - and never even put the car up on a jack if you don't want to.  How much is a new clutch  install going to cost at a dealer?  I'd bet a golden horse it's more than $150!

Hell, even a turbo replacement - normally what causes people to sell their B5 S4's when they get a crazy repair estimate - isn't too bad.  Since the 900 uses an old-school Garrett T3-style turbo, replacements are cheap as chips on eBay for a new or re-manufactured unit.  Want a bad-ass T3/T04E hybrid?  $140+shipping will get you this generic ("XS Power," haha) T3/T04E oil-cooled hybrid turbo with a healthy .57 trim (.50 A/R compressor, .63 A/R Turbine) measurement.  It'll make more boost than most 4-cylinder engines can handle on stock internals, all day long.  For $140!  Want a replacement Borg-Warner K03 for your VW/Audi 1.8T?  Be prepared to shell out $600+ from the dealer.

The Community Makes The Car.

This is a two-edged sword.  I'd say the main reason there are no Yugos still on the road (besides the fact they were disposable cars when new) is probably that there aren't really Yugo enthusiast forums.  On the other hand, got an old Saab 900?  Well, gee, which forum are you going to go to?  There's SaabCentral, The Saab Link, Saabnet, and a whole bunch of other little ones.  A lot of these cars (especially the C900) are old enough by now, that any issue you'll encounter has already been encountered multiple times and people have figured out three different ways to fix it.  Whereas there's no way to fix the fact a new BMW doesn't have a dipstick.  (Cheap shot, I know.)

And with old cars, there's a camaraderie that's just lacking in the whole "yeah, I got a 2-year lease on this 3-series" scene.  When one member has a problem with their car ("I'm getting no spark or fuel, car won't start!" "Check the 3-pin electrical connector at the distributor!"), people in communities like SaabCentral genuinely try to help you.  There's not the snob factor either - people won't look down on you for having a non-turbo 900, they're just happy someone else shares their passion for weird old Swedish cars.  Try going to VWVortex and telling them you want some modification ideas for your non-turbo Jetta: chances are 70% of the responses will be "shoulda bought a 2.0T n00b" or "LAWL BRO GET SOME NAWZ!"  Elitism in an automotive community is nothing but obnoxious; you run into less of this crap with old cars.

In Most States, A Pre-OBDII Car Is Easy To Get Through Inspection.  Really Easy.

Now, I can't say it's the case for whatever state or province or borough you live in, but at least in the good ol' boy state of North Carolina, getting a pre-OBDII car through inspection is remarkably simple.  Why's this?  Well, all cars past 1995 are required to have an OBD-II compatible "data port" that is standard across the industry, so that anyone with an OBD scanner can hook it up to the car and see if it's working.  While this is great for problem diagnoses - "My car's running like crap and has a Check Engine Light on, let me pull codes real fast and pinpoint the problem" - it makes passing inspection in an old car a lot harder.  Have a burned-out 02 sensor?  Not gonna pass inspection, it'll show in the readiness codes.  Catalytic Converter packed up, burned out, or empty (hehehe)?  Won't pass.  PCV or EGR valve gummed up?  Yup, try again.

Whereas OBD-I (proprietary OBD) or OBD-nothing (no electronic OBD) don't have to deal with this totalitarian crap.  We get a "visual emissions and safety inspection."  Which means they put the car on a lift, go "yup, there's a catalyst, there's a charcoal canister, no exhaust leaks" and send you on your way.  It's so much easier this way.  And I figured all those Prii out there are making up for my empty cat.  Right?

Spend Your Money On Tangible Things, Not Insurance.

pictured: that cute girl from the Progressive Insurance commercials.

I'm 22.  I've got some tickets on my record.  I'm male.  These are all things that would make my insurance nearly unbearably expensive in a modern car that's worth something.  Last time I checked, my insurance premium was $301, more-than-minimum liability coverage...  Every six months.  That works out to be a bit over $600 a year in insurance, which is less than most of my friends my age are paying for 2 months coverage in their Civics.  Bleurgh.  It helps that the state says my car is worth $1,200 and change (property tax was $9!) and has a salvage title, but still, $600 a year in a (reasonably) fast and cool car, on my own policy, is amazing.  I feel sorry for all the poor saps paying $2000+ a year to insure a 110bhp Focus.  Blech.

Drop your comments below, and let me know your old-car ownership experiences!  Yes, that means you!  Get to it!  And if you have suggestions for a Part 3, also let me know.

Image credits: Intro picture (C900 Carlsson) Flickr User Navarzo3.  Green 900SE Turbo Cabrio/Red 900S Sedan/Red '88 BMW M6 www.autotrader.com.  Audi UrS4 on track: Wikipedia Commons via WikiUser EvansurS4.  Turbo: eBay.