Front Wheel Drive BMWs: Should We Give A Toss?

This news broadcast opens with a sombre announcement: the world is ending. "The apocalypse is upon us. The Mayans were right. Cthulhu is emerging from the dark depths of R'lyeh to devour our souls. More at nine." The news reader pauses, looks off camera, then back into the lens, "And in related news, BMW is working on a mainstream front wheel drive car to expand their range."

Oh lord, here we go. I can hear the rumble of the forums beginning as we speak. Allow me to put on my tin foil hat, peer into the future, and bring you some conversations you'll be seeing on a BMW/Euro forum near you:

• "This is worse than Porsche building an SUV, and then making a sedan out of it." -  E30M42luv4lyfe
• "If I wanted to buy a f*&@ing Honda, I'd sell my beat up coolant leaking E39 and buy one." - E39530iguy
• "How am I supposed to drift my way into the hearts of girls way too young for me with a failwheeldrive BMW?" - Dorift0BeemerFratDude
• "Wait, BMW's are rear wheel drive?" - 90%ofPeopleWhoLeaseA3SeriesJustToImpressTheNeighbours

I'm just saying, prepare yourselves. The sound of whining will be audible over a Katy Perry concert. I'm just not sure if it's something that's really worth whining about in the first place.

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, multiple news sources have recently reported that BMW will soon sell a front wheel drive car, likely to be called the 1-series GT. BMW themselves have stated that in the future, they're aiming for a 50/50 split of front and rear wheel drive cars, with some all wheel drives in the middle.

What the hell is this?

The 1-Series GT (pictured above) will be a small front wheel drive hatchback in the style of a Mazda5 or Vauxhall Zafira. Although it's hard to get a sense for the proportions of the vehicle because of the wacky camo, this high-roof hatch will push BMW into a market it has yet to explore: utilitarian people movers. It will also push it into the spotlight of a mob of torch wielding E30 drivers, shouting "Burn it!" It's the tip of the front drive iceberg for BMW, and it will surely be viewed as sacrilege; a big ol' corporate middle finger to the brand's devoted fans.

Real BMWs have 101bhp.

But is it worse than the X5M and X6M, which bring automatics, turbos, all wheel drive, and SUV bodies to the hallowed M division? Or the M550d, a diesel powered BMW with an M badge on it? Going further back, how about the E36 M3 automatic, which gave the world a two pedal M? I can go on and on. Here's the point: BMW is a full model brand, with products stretching from the compact diesel powered 1-series hatchback up to the wild Alpina 7-series saloon. They make four (!) different SUVs, four convertibles, three coupes, four saloons, a whole range of motorcycles, and other things I'm probably forgetting. They are trying to take the BMW magic mainstream; will making a front drive BMW ruin that?

Come on, worse than this? Let's be serious.

I'm going to say no. As much as it pains me to admit, probably a small percentage of BMWs are actually bought because they're balanced, rear wheel drive, and have butter-smooth straight sixes. Hell, the 328i doesn't even have a straight six anymore. Some people like BMWs because they're BMWs, and the neighbours know it. You work your ass off to make the lease payments, and maybe you just want a car that makes you happy, for whatever reason that is. If you just want something that says BMW and has that teutonic chiselled styling, dark interior, iDrive, and the kudos that comes with it, who am I to fault you?

People buy with their emotions. I work in sales at a Chevrolet dealership, and I see this every day. You would not believe the vast quantities of Camaros we sell. Despite the car's obvious shortcomings - visibility comparable to a tank, no room inside despite being a fairly large car, a high price, some Fisher Price plastics in the interior etc - people buy these cars like they come with Keira Knightley tied up in the boot. And it's because they make people happy. You can't not feel like a badass driving a Camaro, even a poverty-spec V6 LS with steel wheels. Because even three years after introduction they still attract stares, they still look stunning under a street light, they have so much drama. People buy with their hearts, and for the people that just want a BMW, dammit, that's fine.

Not a logical purchase, but who cares?

For those people, front wheel drive won't be a problem, it'll be nice. The people who don't know what 50/50 weight distribution, moments of polar inertia, harmonic balancing, and 4-link independent rear suspension are, or why they should care - they'll like front wheel drive. You just simply get more space with less car using transverse engines and front wheel drive setups. The handling's safer too, and generally fuel economy will be better. But most importantly, it will keep the price lower. And as long as they keep their core products like the 3 and 5-series rear wheel drive, what's the problem?

So if the argument is, "Well for heaven's sake, BMW shouldn't, that wouldn't fit in with the brand's image" the argument doesn't hold water. If the argument is, "Well, a front-drive BMW isn't going to handle well like a BMW should," that doesn't either. Why?

Yeah, MINI. Since the brand's introduction in 2001, BMW has been busy cranking out the best handling front drive cars on the planet. They took over after Honda gave up on that, and a spin behind the wheel of any modern MINI is proof. No doubt, the hardtop and coupe benefit from being such small cars overall, but even compared to other cars their size, they're still a revelation. It's not really even a question that a front wheel drive BMW is still going to handle well - they know exactly what they're doing.

So if BMW makes a car that has the looks and interior of a BMW, with the handling, turbo power, fuel economy, and pricing of a MINI, what's the problem? I'm not really sure. As always, leave your thoughts in the comment section below!