Bring It/Sink It

Spend any time in a densely populated car forum, and one thing you're likely to hear is some variation on the following phrase: "If America's the most powerful country in the world, and we've pushed the automotive genre farther than anyone else... why do we get all these crap cars, and the rest of the world gets all this awesome metal we can't even get a chance at?"

While there are plenty of answers to that question - for instance, models that don't meet crash or emissions regulations, cars that wouldn't have a market in the US (do you know anyone in the US that would buy a Seat? Most Americans would think you're talking about a spot on the bus), cars that manufacturers would lose money on importing, etc.  It's been proven pretty much every time a manufacturer brings one of their tasty foreign models into the US.

The Merkur XR4Ti, an Americanized version of the weird-looking rear-wheel-drive Ford Sierra, was an absolute flop in the US, despite being completely awesome.  Blame poor marketing, the fact they were sold through clueless Lincoln/Mercury dealers, and the hefty price tag for that one.  Pontiac's GTO, which was an Australian Holden Monaro with an ugly grille, never lit up the sales charts like GM expected it to.  Ditto the new G8, a new Holden Commodore with an ugly grille - despite being a simply fantastic car.

Saturn's Astra, reviewed here recently, is a rebadge job on one of Europe's most popular Golf-sized competitors, the Vauxhall Astra.  They're rarer than virgins in a strip club on US roads.  It's a historical trend; GM's Geo brand was an entire line of imported foreign models.  Geo's been gone for years.  Even the Buick-Opels of the 70's were a drastic failure.

Still, if I were suddenly put in charge of things, there would be some cars I'd bring to the US - and some that I'd make sure sunk to the bottom of the ocean on the way from the factory to the dealership.  Here are a few.

Bring It: Euro-Market Honda Civic HatchbackSink It: US-market Civic Civic Coupe

The whole point of a coupe is that it is supposed to offer dramatic styling, performance and a feeling of specialness not available in a sedan.  the 2-door version of the Civic is just that: a Civic with only 2 doors.  It's not any more fun to drive, it's less attractive (in my eyes) than the 4-door Civic due to it's boring proportions and details, and it's hard to get in and out of the back seat.  It's not any cheaper, either.  Plus, it looks like a doorstop.  Who buys this crap?

On the other hand, Europe gets this sweet new-generation Civic Hatchback, in 3 and 5 door form.  The space-age styling would definitely attract more attention in the US than the dull coupe, it has much more storage capacity (coupe: 11.5ft², 5 door hatch: 17.1 ft² total), and a cooler interior.

Plus, let's go ahead and bring over that 2.2L i-CTDi diesel four.  With 138bhp, it's right on par with the weak-wristed 1.8L gas motor Honda sells here.  But it's got 340nM (250 lb-ft) of torque, which is more than 100lb-ft more than the gas Civic produces.  It'll hit sixty in under 8 seconds, and returned 54.3mpg combined.  Why is Honda letting VW dominate the US small diesel market in the first place?

Bring It: Fiat 500 (Preferably the Abarth EsseEsse!)Sink It: Chevrolet Aveo.

You know, I don't even care if I have to buy my Abarth 500 at a Chrysler dealership.  I just want one.  Let's look at the facts here: from Italy, we have the spunky, well-styled mini-Mini, with tight suspension, a retromodern interior, a 160bhp 1.4L turbocharged I4, little scorpions everwhere... just the epitome of Euro hot-hatch coolness.

And from America... actually, make that from Korea.  Chevy's Aveo is as American as sushi and Beck's; it's a Daewoo Kalos underneath.  Pause for a moment to consider the irony of the fact that "Kalos" is Greek for "beautiful," then leave the Chevy dealer.  Say no.  America, you deserve better than this crap.  And really, only 34mpg?  That's hardly worth driving around in a 1.5L rolling torture chamber built on the "lowest bidder" principle.  No thanks.

Bring It: Ford FPV F6 (Falcon) TyphoonSink It: Ford Fusion.

This one's simply too obvious to ignore.  Normally, I'd say we should send the Taurus to a watery grave - but the new Taurus is actually pretty nice.  Plus there's the twin-turbo SHO version, which is going to be epic.

So let's pick on the Mexican-built Fusion, which is derived from the boring last-generation Mazda6.  It's got a Gillette razor for a front grille, a boring 4 cylinder, two boring 6 cylinders, and a boring hybrid model.  Admittedly, the hybrid will be a big seller - with 41mpg, it would be hard not to.

But how unfair is this?  Ford's an American company that then expanded elsewhere.  In the ensuing period, Ford of America forgot how to make cars beside the Mustang that people actually want.  Ford of Australia didn't.

Ford AU's mainstream seller, the Falcon, is a fully modern mid-sized rear-wheel drive sedan, with a choice of either straight-six or V8 powerplants.  So, a good place to start: independent rear suspension, nice interior, good looks.  FPV is the Australian equivalent of SVT in the US or the RS brand in the UK, and they seem to know what they're doing.  Starting with a basic Falcon XR6 turbo, FPV crams boost down the Falcon's throat until it approaches critical mass.  The home-grown 4.0L 24v "Barra" straight-six is equipped from the factory with a Garrett GT3540 ball-bearing turbocharger (seriously!), a Tremec T56 six-speed manual, and has 420 horsepower and 565nM of torque.  It'll run to sixty in under 5 seconds, the quarter mile in the low 13's, and 156mph top out.  You can also get it with some massive 355mm 6-piston Brembos.

And we get the Fusion!  How is that fair!

Now, this is really just a sample.  There are plenty of other lust-worthy vehicles sold elsewhere that US enthusiasts spend a disproportionate amount of time drooling over.  These are simply the most obvious.  That's before we even get to the Audi TT-RS, which they're not even selling in America... and the Euro-market Focus RS... I could go on and on.