2012 Mini Cooper S Coupe Test Drive

Well, for one thing, it's a tongue twister.  Mini Cooper S Coupe.  Koop.  Sha-doop.  Not quite a Touareg-level mockery of the English language, sure, but still not something that rolls off the tongue.  But there's more to the odd case of the Cooper Coupe than just the name.

If you can't readily tell, what we have here is a Cooper Hardtop with only two seats, a chopped-off windshield, a greenhouse shaped like a backwards baseball hat, a pair of spoilers (one fixed), and not a whole excess of headroom.  If you love Minis for their faux-British charm, you'll love the Coupe.  If you hate them for how purposefully "styled" they are, you'll probably have an aneurysm.  Then get back in your Grand National and mumble about "cars these days."

It seems like Mini styled the Coupe to be cute.  I'm not sure if they've succeeded, but as I'm more of a Grand National than a Mini kind of guy, perhaps I'm not the one to ask.  The slick bubble roof with jutting "hat-bill" spoiler is slick, but it's just... plopped on top of a regular Mini body.  A comparison to female anatomy in Silicon Valley wouldn't be off point here, but I'm not the one to make it.  Let's just say the proportions are interesting.  The low roof, super-raked windshield, and short quarter windows make the doors and fenders seem larger, even though they're really not.  The rear 3/4 view is odd too; it seems like the trunk is twice the height of the back glass.  It's a head-turner, it's just a matter of why the heads turn.

But styling is entirely subjective.  You'll either like the Cooper Coupe, or think it's funny looking.  What's the difference between the Coupe and the Hardtop?  Well, from a practical standpoint, they're both two door hatchbacks - while the Hardtop has a short, upright hatch, the Coupe has a long, sloping fastback.  The major change: there are no rear seats in the Coupe.  This is either good or bad, depending on how you look at it.  The Hardtop's rear seats are better as punishment than accommodations for a human, although folded flat they make a decent cargo area.  The Coupe already has a fairly large cargo area, and you don't have to fold any seats down to get to it.  You can actually carry large objects in the Coupe's trunk, which you can't realistically do in the Hardtop with the seats up.

Dimensionally, the cars are very similar.  The wheelbase, width, and track width (F/R) are identical, and the Coupe is 5mm longer than the hardtop.  The Coupe's roofline is 23mm closer to earth than the hardtop's, and weight is within 20lbs.  So if you were expecting the lower, 2-seat Coupe to be lighter, no dice.  The weight is a little closer to the ground, but not enough to feel a difference when you're driving it.  Still, a Cooper S is a fun car to drive - and the Cooper S Coupe is as well.

All the things to love about driving a Mini are here in the same quantities as they are in a hardtop.  The 1.6L direct-injected turbo motor is a great example of how to extract horsepower from a small displacement without the added side effect of turbo lag.  The small twin-scroll turbo, short turbo plumbing length, and 10.5:1 compression ratio means that even with only a 1.6L pulling along 2734lbs, the Cooper S Coupe is a  point-and-shoot delight.  The low end is pretty limp, but mid range to the S's 6,500rpm redline is strong enough to be fun.  Mini's turbo mill is outgunned by a lot of cheaper competitors, but it's never been a car that sold on straight line speed.  (If you want one faster in a straight line, the $31,900 Coupe JCW offers 208bhp - but that's around $400 more than a 412bhp Mustang GT 5.0 with Brembos and the 3.73:1 gear package.  So no, the Mini does not trade on quarter-mile times.)

With 181bhp and 177lb-ft, available power almost never exceeds available grip, meaning this is a "real world" fun car - one you can drive fairly hard without fear of anything but adding points to your license.  The Coupe S is a good answer to the old "slow car fast, or fast car slow" question - it's capabilities are approachable in a really enjoyable way.  In a heavier rear wheel drive car with a lot of power, unless you're on a track or devoid of any semblance of common sense, pushing a car hard always feels like a risk - it's a question of which available resource (grip, brakes, power) is going to run out first.  With the S, the faster you go, the smoother it feels.  It can be a little jerky off stop lights, and the short wheelbase makes the ride choppy on the highway, but utilize the torque to pull you out of tight corners on a back road and it all just gels.  It's so much fun.  Even if it's not a rocketship.

The smoothness and solidity of the drivetrain is still a high point, although the shifter seems longer than in the last Cooper S I drove - memory does get hazy.  The clutch is super-light and grabs naturally, which resulted in a near-immediate stall once I hopped back in my E36.  However, the Mini's selling point is - and always will be - it's suspension.  Laugh from the outside if you like, but the way a Cooper S Coupe cuts into a corner has to be experienced at least once.  This is a front-wheel-drive car with better steering response than my RWD daily driver.  Turn-in is immediate, and the low seating position heightens your awareness of how responsive this car is.  While most compacts bounce along on a torsion-beam rear end, the Mini still uses a higher-cost multilink independent rear with aluminum trailing arms.  This, along with the not absurdly heavy or oversized wheels, means the Mini's wheel control on imperfect surfaces is fantastic - it stays totally composed over rough, curvy pavement.  Independent suspension, and a low curb and unsprung weight has the added benefit of allowing relatively soft spring rates, so the S handles well and doesn't beat you up as a result.  There aren't many inexpensive cars that handle anywhere near this well, besides the Miata - and hopefully the upcoming FT-86.

Other mechanical niceties you can't really see, but you can appreciate:  equal length half shafts.  Point it onto a 90° on-ramp in second, nail it, hit boost and be amazed what doesn't happen.  There's no spinning inside tire, the torque doesn't jerk you off your line, the steering wheel doesn't lighten up under load, it just bites and goes.  This is the kind of "eh, whatever" cornering superiority that WRX guys like to brag about, available in a cute front-drive fashion accessory.  Also, brakes that are way bigger than they really need to be.  The S models come with 11.6" vented discs up front and 10.2" solid discs in back that seem large enough for a car about a thousand pounds heavier.  There is an alphabet-soup full of acronyms to keep you on the road, and activating any of them is basically proof you're not a very good driver: stability control, traction control, ABS, CBC, EBD, ETC, TLA's galore.  The Cooper S Coupe's combination of strong mid-range shove, cooperative shifter, clutch and brakes, and impeccable suspension means it's really quite easy to drive fast on a curvy road.

One thing it's not easy to do: see out of it.  I hate to bring up such a practical consideration on such a blatantly impractical car, but backing up is more guesswork than anything.  While those short quarter windows are interesting to look at, they're hard to look through - due to the thick B-pillar behind them.  Rearward visibility is not quite Countach-bad, at least until the electric rear spoiler on the decklid pops up past 50mph, then it's about down to a mail slot.  Visibility out of the shorter, steeply raked windshield is obviously worse, but not terrible compared to something like a TT or a 350Z.  Headroom isn't as abundant as the standard Cooper, but I didn't brush my head at 6'2" with the seat fully down.  All the Mini interior weirdness carries over to the Coupe interior, including the giant center-mounted speedometer you still have to take your eyes off the road to watch, toggle switches with lawyer-approved hoops around them, confusing radio controls, odd ignition key, non-locking turn signals, and the only confusing windshield wiper stalk to ever be invented.  Blame BMW.  On the other hand, even though it's weird, the build quality is still high - Mini asks premium prices for their products, and the feel inside validates it to a certain point.  The Sport seats (standard on the S) are supportive and comfortable, the steering wheel is nicely sized, and all the switchgear feels... well, like BMW parts.  So there's that.

The trunk is more useful than the Hardtop, with a nicely shaped cargo area and enough room for some full sized things.  There's a pass-through so you can put stuff in the trunk from the front seats, and the cargo cover is shaped like the tonneau cover on the Roadster, which is sort of cute.  Whether you find a permanently larger trunk and no back seats useful is up to you.

But how different is it from driving a normal Cooper?  Meh, not much.  Sure, it looks different - and the view out is different -but if you wanted a track-ready club spec hardcore Cooper, nope.  The Coupe trades utility for style and uniqueness.  What's odd is that the lack of seats and head room costs you an additional $1,500 - the Cooper S starts at $23,800 and the Coupe S starts at $25,300.  Equipment is basically identical between the two (except for the normal Cooper having 2 more airbags), so perhaps that is simply the price to pay for having a more noticeable car.

It's a likeable car, for sure - but at the price, why not get a regular Cooper S with a few options?  Or a GTI?  Mini has pulled off, on a smaller scale, a classic Porsche trick: giving us less car for more money.  It's cute, but it remains to be seen how many will bite.

2012 Mini Cooper S Coupe

Base price: $25,300Price as tested: $31,500Options: Lightning Blue Paint ($500), Black Roof/Mirror (free), Carbon Black "Punch" Leather Seats ($1,500), Dash Surface In Striped Alloy (free), Sport Package ($1,500, 17" Mini Yours Alloys $250, White Turn Signals, Xenon Headlights, Dynamic Traction Control, total cost $1,750), Sport Suspension ($500), Harmon/Kardon Sound System ($750), Bluetooth/USB connection ($500), Destination/Handling Charge ($700)

Body: Unit-Construction 2-Door Liftback CoupeDrivetrain: Transverse Front-Engine, Front Wheel Drive.  6-Speed Manual TransmissionAccomodations: 2 passengers

Engine: I4, Aluminum Block & Head Displacement: 1598cc (1.6L)Aspiration: Turbocharged (twin-scroll), IntercooledFuel delivery: High-pressure direct fuel injectionValvetrain: DOHC, 16v, Valvetronic variable valve timingCompression ratio: 10.5:1Horsepower: 181bhp@5,500rpmTorque: 177ft-lb@1,600-5,000rpm (192lb-ft on overboost mode)Rev limit: 6,500rpm

Suspension (F) MacPherson Strut, Coil Spring, Anti-Roll Bar Suspension (R) 4-link Independent, Aluminum Rear Trailing Arms, Coil Spring, Anti-Roll BarSteering: Rack & Pinion, Electronic Power Assist Wheels/Tires: 17x7" Alloy, 205/45/ZR17 run-flat tires Brakes (F/R): 11.6" vented discs F/ 10.2" solid discs R.  Anti-lock, corner brake control, elec. brakeforce distribution

0-60mph: 6.5sTop speed: 142mph1/4 Mile: 14.8 secondsEPA fuel mileage estimate: 35 highway/ 27 city/ 30 combinedRecommended fuel: 91 Octane (premium)Fuel Tank Capacity: 13.2 gallonsTheoretical Range: 462 miles

Wheelbase: 97.1"Length: 147"Track (F/R): 57.2"/57.5"Width: 66.3"Height: 54.5"Cargo Capacity: 9.8ft³Curb weight: 2734lbs

Main Competitors: Mini Cooper S Hardtop, Volkswagen GTI/Scirrocco 2.0T, Hyundai Genesis Coupe 2.0T, Audi TT, Honda Civic Si Coupe, 2012 Fiat 500 AbarthPros: All the charms of a Cooper S, under a baseball hat.  Impressive mechanics, fun to flog down a curvy road, nice cabinCons: More expensive and less useful than a Cooper S, compromised visibility, goofy looking, same old weird Mini ergonomicsConclusion: If you've always wanted a 2-seat Cooper with a baseball hat instead of rear seats, your chariot has arrived.