Don't Try To Deny You Want A Tiny Electric Ride-On Defender Or F-Type

We’re not going to pretend we aren’t interested in these. Don’t you even try, either. We know there’s a small, barely hidden flame that ignites behind a petrolhead’s eyes when confronted with memories of where it all began.

Supermarket chain Aldi is selling these JLR-approved ride-on cars. There’s a Land Rover Defender, in black and with a massive spoiler that we’re not sure ever made it to a full-size production version, but that’s probably useful for stopping toddlers from toddling off the back when they hit the go pedal.

Then there’s a Jaguar F-Type R with a mock-quilted design on the plastic seat, red pretend brake calipers and even a proper ‘R’ badge on the grille. Both will crack on at heady speeds of up to 3mph. Note the attention to detail: the speedo actually does seem to be reading 3mph…

Riding high on five-spoke ‘alloys’ and powered by a small motor with a rechargeable battery, the two cars’ working steering and electric horn will do the job of getting future car fanatics out of trouble. Or into it.

You can plug an MP3 player into the imitation dashboard to play tunes through them, there’s real suspension of some sort and it’s a simple one-pedal operation: press to go, lift off to stop. With forward and reverse gears it’s all the ammunition a growing kiddiewink needs to terrorise an entire floor of the house. And practise their engine noises, obviously.

There’s even a seat belt to help little nippers get their heads in gear as well as their cars, but it doesn’t stop there. The headlights? Yep, they work. So do the rear lights. If one of these ends up in your family, prepare to spend Christmas by candlelight by the insistence of your toddler. Fair enough, we say.

The Defender is priced at £74.99, much less than equivalents tend to cost from regular toy shops, and the F-Type is a mere £59.99. Do try to give the kids a go once in a while, though.