Lifted Trucks And Why They're Hated

A while back I posted a small #rant about the hate going on against the stance crowd - HERE and how this very small group of people was ruining an otherwise good car scene.
Ironically, I ended off the post with a joke that I’ll do one about lifted trucks. Well I’ve just finished a heated argument about an idiot online specifically about this topic. So… Looks like I’m fulfilling the promise after all!

Now - Don’t get me wrong - I really don’t care about trucks either. Sure they’re big, loud, usually slow, take up too much space and even the petrol ones seem to blow clouds of something from the tailpipes… But they are useful!
Trucks can haul tow and otherwise work harder than any other type of car. Sometimes that work means getting over obstacles, in which case some extra ground clearance is a gift from the heavens.

So why all the hate?
Just as with stance/hellaflush, its a small crowd giving the rest of the truck guys a bad name.
This “small crowd” is composed of those I like to call the “City-slicker Rednecks”
I’m sure you know at least one.

Biff works an office job and lives in the suburbs. His weekend and afternoon activities include drinking beer, watching sports on TV and streaming porn on his cellphone in the toilet. He is scared of camping, has never gotten his hands dirty but does love his backyard grill.
Biff drives a brand new Dodge RAM 3500HD with a 60” lift, massive mud tyres, a snorkel, light bar and a pair of massive vertical stacks. He then proceeds to yell at the kids in their Toyotas or Hondas about how their cars are “rice rockets” before disappearing in a cloud of black smoke. Basically, he is being an obnoxious prick.

Now, I’m sure the truck guys here are getting really angry at this point and screaming “BUT THAT’S NOT ALL OF US!!” and - well - you’d be right! I know many truck owners who are positively AMAZING people. Sure most of them have too many guns for my liking and I still don’t know what color Evan’s truck really is under all that dirt, but they’re all awesome people who I enjoy chatting with. Most of them actually use their trucks for the intended purpose of a truck: to haul stuff, and some of them go offroading.

So where am I going with this?
Well - Biff is the truck guy we think of when we hear someone say “truck guy”
Biff is the problem and, sadly, there are too many Biffs in the world. The men who bought a truck to make themselves feel more masculine and not because they needed a truck. They then realize that there are already a lot of trucks on the road so they HAVE to stand out by making their truck the biggest and baddest truck around.

As with the stance scene, a lifted truck is OK - there is nothing wrong with it. If you need to clear some rocks at a work-site or when you go offroading with your buddies, go for it. If you just want it to look cool, do it. It’s your truck and it’s your money.
The problem, once again, arises with things going too far:

How do you get anything into the truck? How do YOU get into the truck??
How do you get anything into the truck? How do YOU get into the truck??

When you have to carry a ladder around with you to get into your truck, there is something wrong.
I know - “But you just said it’s their car and their money! HYPOCRITE!”

What do you think will happen if a car was to get into an accident with a truck that tall? It’ll hit the tire.
What if the truck doesn’t stop, because it’s momentum is too great? It’ll roll over the car in front of it.
Think it hasn’t happened before? You’re wrong good sir/madam.

What about center of gravity? Even regular trucks have a tough time making emergency maneuvers. Increasing the center of gravity only makes the problem worse (go watch the moose test videos to see center of gravity affecting different cars).

As with the insane camber idiots driving on the highways with unsafe cars, people with trucks twice the factory height are a very real road hazard. Their handling is rubbish and prone to tip over in any form of quick maneuver, its plainly an inefficient and impractical method to transport anything, and most of the guys driving around on extreme lifts an huge tires don’t actually need a truck at all. Everything they need out of a car would probably be handled by a Prius.
To them, the truck is a way to compensate for their own lack of self confidence. By having a big manly car they feel more manly themselves.

However, this need to be accepted as a macho guy is putting their, and other’s, safety and even lives at risk.

So, as before, the final points:

  • Trucks are useful vehicles.
  • Lifted trucks are OK - regardless of whether you actually need that lift or not.
  • Insanely tall lift kits are a hazard to yourself and everyone around you - don’t be an idiot.
  • If you own a truck with an insanely tall lift kit, could you please tell me how you get in? I’m genuinely curious.

I won’t make another joke in fear of it coming true but the FWD/RWD/AWD debate may be a topic in a future rant… Also, we need a “Rants” community!