THE STARS AND STRIPES CAR SHOW - TATTON PARK, UK
VISUAL WARNING Today we will be venturing into a temporary slice of automotive america , all from the comfort of the United Kingdom - and because the UK is the quintessential home of the conservative gentleman, we feel its best to remind those of you who have such a disposition to refrain from reading this article. If your prefer Tweed Blazers, pictures of the Queen, consider bland as a colour, and you do decide to read on, be advised your eyes may suffer irreparable damage resulting from the extraordinarily loud, large, brash and bold cars of the USA which lay ahead. They don’t do subtle.
FURTHER SAFETY WARNING - Copious amounts of Ford Mustangs are featured in this video. They are known to bite, and sometimes kill. Please ensure you are safely behind a reasonable safety barrier for your protection, even when viewing from a mobile platform. If you hear tyres squealing and believe it may be a mustang, remember to “duck and cover” behind the Nearest large TV presenter who may or may not be shouting obscenities towards Americans …. as well as at me for that matter.
ONTO THE SHOW…
Some say …. the CT UK offices had to be evacuated earlier this week, a result of an extremely over enthusiastic and overexcited TV personality, who was madly tearing up the parking lot and even the offices in his wild mustang, in anticipation of the stars and stripes car show,
They also say if you look closely whilst at the show, you might just catch a fleeting glimpse of of a glee filled, wild haired, TV presenter with his gleaming white teeth, furiously darting from car to car like a cosmic humming bird, and one that that’s been sipping from the honey pot for far too long. Its also said that if you start a video recording in the nearest side mirror, and smile three times, you might just hear this phantom singing the stars and stripes on playback. …. whilst the shows producers tell me he wasn’t actually there, everyone I spoke to could could feel his presence…. well, asking the coffee vendor is essentially the same thing as asking everyone.
Regardless of any phantom TV presenter (don’t look in the mirror when you get home by the way), On Sat the 6th July, and I had the opportunity to go the Stars and Stripes Car Show held at Tatton Park, near Manchester (The original) in the United Kingdom. (Many thanks to Portia and Tom in the events team for providing me a media pass for the event. It was very much Appreciated)
As you can tell by the name, “Star and Stripes at Tatton Park” is an American Car show. When i Say American, I mean properly American. If your someone who feels the need… the need for american speed, or anything bold brash, loud and in your face, where “big? big is never big enough son..” … then start here.
In a short-short version; 1000+ American cars of every conceivable type descended onto Tatton park for a 2 day show event. I mean properly American Cars. Not “My fiesta has got a ford badge, that’s american right?”… NO… I mean properly american cars, from the occasional small ones, through to the luxurious, the sleek, the fast and Supercar-ish, all the way to the truly insane, such as the ones which have differing time-zones for the front and rear of the car… oh, and lets not forget the machinery who’s design moto went something like this: “….I think it needs more Battleship Turrets…..”
Best of all, almost all cars were proudly sporting that traditional American design fault of putting the steering wheel on the wrong side :).
Also very Interesting was the sheer size(and the staggering number) of the trucks and RV’s on site (RV = Recreational vehicle for those not with the USA lingo). I call this interesting because the small size of British roads makes them “Difficult” to navigate shall we say. For those of you who don’t understand just how small British and many European roads can be (I’m looking at you America and Australia), say these words and put 2 and 2 together.. - “Canine breeding program, Great Dane, Chihuahua.”.. You get the idea.
For example, the already massive H1 hummer in the picture further above (The one with the modified wheels each being literally close to 5ft in diameter, and the car door handles being 6ft or higher), is going to have a problem going anywhere in the UK beyond only the most major roads….. Not physically of course, because it could just run over or smash down walls and put itself anywhere it likes .. hell it could prob park in No 10 without people being able to stop it. But of course, in doing so it will have some legal problems when explaining why it’s replicating the driving style of invading tanks in the middle east …. (“it was for youtube officer”… no?)
Of course, being a show there were show ground rides everywhere, the amazing cage of death with motorcycles, loads of various fair ground rides both for adults and children, but to really get an experience, one has to appreciate the “field of fear”, where one walks through hundreds of extremely powerful, modified, and very angry Ford Mustangs, all lined up for your inspection. Each headlight staring at you with murderous intent. That alone is enough to be scared, but the spectre of a small and angry phantom TV presenter with a penchant for Mustangs, and a crash record to rival the stock-market, possibly launching a wild mustang toward you in a fit of glee at any moment from any direction, was truly terrifying … again, I’m told they had taken precautions to prevent him even being at the show, and they assured me no TV presenters were on site … but still, one has to worry, its an american Mecca after all ….. It’s properly brilliant!! :)
Now at this point, you might think I’m being flippant and mocking American Cars, which is only slightly true, for the most part i think they are actually brilliant …. If I seem a little in jest, I do so only because:
(A) I know the good Americans can take a joke, (well most anyway) and we will all have a banter about it later on … Plus, the comments here will get littered with angry “ ‘murican-swamp-people “ responses which means all of us normal people in both the USA and the UK can watch and enjoy the trolling ….. It should be a good show :)
(B) But also because on a serious note, Americans, and American Culture by Extension, truly know how to put on a show better than anyone else. End of Story. No sarcasm, No joke.. When you take the typical image of classic-cars show, with their whiff of aristocratic attitudes like, “Your car isn’t dull enough sir”, “horsepower is sufficient” or “I don’t like colour on my cars…” Then suddenly, American Car’s and their “Hold my beer” crazy over-the-top antics become genuinely brilliant. No one in the world can put on a show as well as Americans can. American Culture can take horrible shows, sport, topics, products, ideas, whatever, anything which is normally of no interest to anyone…., and somehow make them amazingly entertaining and interesting.
And that’s the Point here, and exactly what you want at these shows. You go to these shows to be entertained, to be fascinated, to be educated, intrigued, satirised, even scared, mused and or befuddled, Shows like Stars and Stripes at Tatton park do just that fantastically well. Its a brilliant show, and I highly recommend you go if given the opportunity .. If however you prefer your after dinner dessert to be unflavoured “Ice-milk” or “STANDARD”….then you can join the “May & Flanders Co” in polishing pictures of the Queen, whilst the rest of us are going to join in the fun that American Cars shows can offer, even if its s bit space-cadet style at times. Just get the next one when its on, and leave the tweed blazer in the closet.
Anyway - lets get cracking with the show imagery shall we?
As we know in the past, people don’t like doing things. The boffins in white coats keep telling us that. So to avoid all that annoying, “click-click”, “Swipe-swipe” nonsense, we’ve collated all the images into 5 videos. 5 because there is just too many images for a single gallery, and because those same boffins tell us people don’t watch more than 5 minutes at a time …. supposedly.. Oh and If your American, you might as well Stand up right now …. It’s 3 verses-ish … you’ll get my meaning when you hit play … enjoy!!!
As we said, there is just too many for one gallery. So we put together a very small collection in the hope of appeasing at least some of the anti-digital’s that want to see a return to Polaroid. Your probably thinking I mean Mr May by that remark ….. your probably right …. but admit it, you though it first …. anywhoo…. Enjoy!!