7 Stupidly Big Cars That Are Fun To Drive

Size and weight are enemies to knife-edge performance, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with a land yacht
7 Stupidly Big Cars That Are Fun To Drive

Fun behind the wheel is usually directly related to performance. I won’t deny that fast, nimble cars are fun, but I find it very unfortunate that many people automatically turn away from big cars just because they’re big. This might come as a shock to a few CTzens, but being on the raggedy edge of performance in a finely tuned lean-and-mean racing machine isn’t the only ticket to fun behind the wheel.

Anyone can flick a Lotus Elise around a track, but there’s something to be said for manhandling a machine double or even triple the size around the same course. It doesn’t matter if the lap times are similar - there’s a kind-of daredevil thrill in scoffing at the laws of physics, not to mention the challenge of doing things the hard way just because. I think that matter to people more than they care to admit. So here’s your chance to admit it.

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Some people love going fast in a straight line, or pulling serious Gs in a corner, or just cruising low and slow. This one is for the people who love grabbing big cars by the neck and making them do the impossible, or failing that, just doing donuts.

1. Mercedes Benz S65 AMG sedan

7 Stupidly Big Cars That Are Fun To Drive

Yes, this is a safe choice because who wouldn’t want to drive a biturbo V12 in anything? AMG tuning helps this 17-foot long, 2.5-tonne monster actually handle surprisingly well, in the same way ropes and ground crews keep those big balloon mascots at parades from going everywhere. Of course, you’ll have to pay £170,000 to have your big cake and eat it too. Yes, you could opt for the big bruisers from Audi and BMW, but for me, the AMG Mercs have always had a bit more attitude. I like that in a big car.

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For £168,000 less than the Merc, you can buy an ex-American cop car with less than half the half the horsepower, but all the size. I’ll mention the clone-close Mercury Marauder here as well, which does everything the ‘Vic does only with a bit more horsepower (300 versus 250 that the final Crown Vic interceptors ultimately had). They’re stupid cheap, they have body-on-frame rigidity with rear-wheel drive, and they’re almost indestructible.

3. Holden Commodore

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

I need to give a nod to our Aussie friends and the Holden Commodore. It’s been large and in-charge since 1988, but I give special attention to the VE and VF series starting in 2006. These big sedans are athletic and properly quick, and are currently serving duty in the US as both the Chevrolet SS sedan and Caprice cop car. V8 power, rear-wheel drive and available with a proper manual gearbox - who cares if it weighs nearly two tonnes?

4. Dodge Ram SRT-10 Quad Cab

7 Stupidly Big Cars That Are Fun To Drive

You knew there would be an American pickup truck on this list. Ford’s SVT F150 Lightning is a better overall performer, but this list isn’t about numbers or lap times. The Ram is considerably bigger and a bit more bonkers, though it can still surprise people both with acceleration and cornering grip. Still, with a 500bhp Viper-sourced 8.3-litre V-10 under the bonnet and 2540kg worth of mass, this four-door Ram is the embodiment of challenge accepted.

5. Volvo 240 Estate

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons
Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

Many people might think of the classic-and-awesome Volvo 240 as a mid-size car. Anyone who’s driven an estate version will attest that, despite classifications, this is a big mama. And honestly, I can’t tell you exactly why they’re so much fun to drive because even the turbo versions are rather slow in stock form. Perhaps it’s the ‘librarian syndrome’ of being deliciously naughty with something innocent, or the invincible feeling you get behind the wheel. Or just maybe, the 240’s bones have potential for fun. I like to think it’s a combination of all three.

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Short of a full-on race truck, you will not have a better time off-road than in a Raptor. Make no mistake, its three tonnes of mass and gooey suspension delivers more body roll than a drunk elephant, but somehow the truck still goads you into going faster. That’s especially true when the pavement disappears and you suddenly realise you’re doing double the speed of most off-roaders. it’s sickeningly entertaining for even the hardest of the hardcore on-road race car drivers, and with the new version shedding 225kg while reportedly packing 500bhp, it should be more death-defyingly fun than ever.

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I’m not talking about the new Charger. I’m referring to the original Charger, the one that lost five hubcaps on the streets of San Francisco in the movie Bullitt. I’m talking about Bo and Luke Duke’s orange General Lee. I’m talking about the timeless lines and V8 thrill from arguably the greatest car from the classic American muscle car era. They were over 17 feet long, had prehistoric brakes, theoretical suspension, but none of that mattered. With a 440 cubic inch or 426 Hemi engine up front driving the wheels in back, you steered with your foot and held on for dear life, all the while laughing like a lunatic.

Comments

Martin Burns

Everybody loves a good boat!

07/17/2016 - 13:14 |
432 | 2
Anonymous

dint forget michael westen’s charger

07/17/2016 - 13:15 |
32 | 0
LPTater (Part-time Ricer)

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Yes!

07/17/2016 - 14:11 |
2 | 0
Topher505

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

The awesome ‘73 Charger.

07/17/2016 - 21:05 |
18 | 0
Anonymous

What about this?

07/17/2016 - 13:27 |
146 | 4
Jakob

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Not a huge fan of the Chevy Tahoe to be honest.

07/17/2016 - 16:13 |
166 | 6
Cameron 10

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Ah the S-10 blazer. The worst mid size abortion GM ever cranked out. But at least they last long…

07/20/2016 - 19:07 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Got to drive one a couple summers ago around the jobsite, it was cool for the first 10 mins but it got boring really fast

07/23/2016 - 23:57 |
0 | 0
Jovan 1

Cadillac cts-v for me, 640hp will do in a 5m car

07/17/2016 - 13:27 |
14 | 0
V-Tech and EcoBoost kicked in yo

In reply to by Jovan 1

The CTS-V is designed to corner well though, and its lighter than all the other cars in its segment.

07/17/2016 - 16:17 |
10 | 2
Tuna

Range Rover Sport or Svr (2016)

07/17/2016 - 13:37 |
22 | 0
Anonymous

1994–1996 Chevrolet Impala SS

07/17/2016 - 13:59 |
18 | 0
Duke RocketBunny Nuggets

no r33? i’m not happy xD

07/17/2016 - 14:17 |
6 | 6

But the R33 isnt big?

07/17/2016 - 15:58 |
4 | 2

The R33 is rather small actually, and not really fun to drive (unless you have some weird understeer fetish)

07/17/2016 - 16:00 |
0 | 0
Anonymous

The original VB Commodore came out in 1978, not 1988. Also, they’re not actually “almost 2 tonnes”, all the early Commodores (Pre VN) are well under 1500kg and the VE/VF is 1750 odd, so not exactly 2TN.

07/17/2016 - 14:51 |
0 | 0
Christopher Smith

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Right, but I’m not talking about the original Commodores. I’m talking about the VN-series onward, which debuted as a larger car in 1988. And while 1750 may not technically be two tonne, it’s not that far away.

07/17/2016 - 19:28 |
4 | 0
Anonymous

A family friend of mine got pulled over today because his Raptor with an RBP exhaust was too loud.

07/17/2016 - 15:40 |
2 | 0
Anonymous

The Raptor is the most fun thing on the list, add a custom exhaust tipe and a CAI, you get even more fun!

07/17/2016 - 15:50 |
4 | 0
Anonymous

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Exhaust tip and a CAI? Is this a high schooler’s Civic or a Raptor?

07/17/2016 - 18:50 |
2 | 0

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