(‘’)

Well we here at CarThrottle don’t subscribe to that happy, shiny version of things.  To be honest, a large number of the cars on our roads are complete, total junk.  This has always been obvious.  The world’s full of Chrysler Sebrings and Kia Amantis.  But there are even cars trying to pass as performance vehicles (which is a heavy focus of this site, if you’ve noticed) that really can’t cover the checks they write.  And despite a consumer market that continues to get pickier and pickier, it still seems that some makers think they can get away with putting a Monroney on a turd and trying to sell it.

So, yeah, it’s a top ten list!  But with a twist.  This list aims to point out the performance cars still sold in 2009 that fall below the mark, that leave a lot to be desired.  These are the bottom of the barrel.  Let us know what you think in the comments!

10th Place: Mitsubishi Eclipse

It’s almost 2010, and Mitsubishi still exists in America.  Which in and of itself is surprising.  What’s even funnier is that they’re still selling the Eclipse.  It’s awful in a way only Alfa GTV owners (of the ’90s variety) would appreciate.  The bulbous, grotesque styling looks like a melted Audi TT – or maybe a pregnant 350Z.  Your choice of engines is pretty dismal, too: you can either have an iron-block 2.4L buzzer that wheezes out 162 thundering horsepower to motivate 3260 lbs of Galant 2-door, or if you’re really stupid you can get the GT, which has an iron-block 3.8L 24v V6.  Which is, as you’d imagine, quite heavy.  And of course the Eclipse is FWD-only – has been since the third generation came out in 2000 – so that means a few things.  Mainly understeer, torque steer, wheelspin, and a number of other problems associated with trying to route 265bhp through the front wheels of what is, really, a Galant.

This wasn’t even an appealing car when it debuted a few years ago; today, you can pay roughly the same amount of money for a Hyundai Genesis Coupe 2.0T, which is, you know, actually fun to drive in addition to  being actually, you know, good to look at.  So, yeah, Eclipse – you fail.

9th Place: Chevrolet Impala SS

I think everyone already knows how much I hate the Impala SS.  But, just to recap: What GM did was develop an absolutely fantastic motor (the LS4, a smaller-displacement version of the Corvette-derived LS series), and proceeded to stick it in a whole bunch of chassis’ that didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of coping with all the power.

303bhp and 323lb-ft of torque are respectable numbers these days, but the W-body GM midsize platform has roots dating back to the early eighties.  And back then, they pretty much stayed away from high-horsepower FWD cars with the technology of the day.  Do you wonder why?  Things like unequal-length high-angle half-shafts, loose and floppy steering, and useless brakes end up making the SS seem more like “Seriously Scary” than whatever it used to stand for.

8th Place: Dodge Caliber SRT-4

The original SRT-4 was a hoot: a big hunk of turbo four under the hood of the cheap, plastic Neon.  It was refreshingly performance-centric; it had chunky, grippy seats, a thick steering wheel, a great shifter and a nicely integrated boost gauge.  And almost nothing else; it even had roll-up windows in the back, which is still pretty funny.  But it was impossible to not have fun in an old SRT-4.  It spooled and ran like it got rear-ended by a dump truck, it would spin the tires clear through second on a wet day, and it was easy as pie to get 300whp out of it.

Then Dodge replaced the Neon with the Caliber, and what was a pretty bad car became a truly awful car.  I’m not sure Dodge ever really knew what the Caliber was supposed to be, but at the same time I’m pretty sure they got it wrong.  It’s got SUV proportions- all high and narrow and tippy – but sad little gravel-mixer engines.  Except the SRT-4, which packs a monsterous Mitsubishi-derived 2.4L Turbo motor, which cranks out 285bhp.

Which is fun!  It really is.  But in a Caliber, what that equates to is homicidal weapons-grade torque steer, turbo lag that 80′s Saab owners would find uncomfortably long and dramatic, about 300lb/ft of resistance in the clutch pedal, and a ride that only your chiropractor’s accountant could love.

Is it fast?  Yeah, in a straight line.  But hustling an SRT-4 Caliber feels strangely like work, which means that Dodge missed the point of the whole hot-hatch thing.

7th Place: Toyota Corolla XRS

Another fall from grace here.  The previous Corolla XRS may not have been a looker, but it did have the same engine as the Lotus Elise under it’s hood.  The Yamaha-designed 2ZZ-GE is one of my favorite engines, and even in detuned Corolla form it was a hoot.  Astronomical redline, banzai VVTL-i cam lift changeover, tight six-speed manual, four-wheel discs…  It wasn’t a land-based rocket, but it was real, genuine fun to drive.

But like most other things Toyota, it’s gone from boring to “please shoot me.”  The high-winding 2ZZ was replaced with the 2.4L 16v motor out of the Camry. Because nothing says exciting like a Camry motor!  Now, it’s got enough torque to buzz the tires through first gear with the five-speed, but with 158bhp, that’s about all it can do.  There’s the possibility of adapting the TRD blower from the Scion tC, but would you even want to bother?  If anything, the Corolla’s gotten less interesting and more plastic-feeling than the previous generation, and that’s saying quite a lot.  Big thumbs down to this regression step.

6th Place: Buick Lucerne Super

More GM drivel here – act surprised.  The Lucerne is the final demonic incantation of GM’s sub-par W-body, which should have died with the Grand Prix.  But instead of dying, GM continues to crank it out because stupid people continue to buy them.  And you can even get the hot-rod Lucerne Super, which is perhaps the most ironically named car I can think of.

What, exactly, is “Super” about a 4.6L 32v V8 that only puts down 292bhp?  Especially when GM’s got a lighter 3.6L 24v V6 that makes 304?  And, again, as we’ve discussed there’s no such thing as a good FWD transverse-V8 GM car.  But for the “honor” of having a 16-year old engine under the hood of your ancient Buick, GM would really like you to give them $39,000 and change.  And, as I’ve said a million times before, that kinda money could get you a real car.

5th Place: Ford Taurus SHO

I know, perhaps a dramatic decision.  After my recent SHO experience though, I’m ready to call this one a disappointment of a large caliber.  (No pun intended.)  The SHO has all the right ingredients on paper:  modern, attractive styling, tons of gizmos, Twin-Turbo DI 24v V6, Haldex 4WD, a paddle-shifted 6 speed automatic, tons of power and immense low end torque…

But as you learn, things that sound great on paper don’t always translate into the real world.  Especially when you’re getting into a car expecting it to be an SHO.  The old SHO was all about the howling Yamaha V6, it was a budget  BMW or Audi for those that wanted to be different.  The new SHO is just an EcoBoost motor (which is admittedly awesome) in a loaded Taurus.  It feels overweight and underexcited about the prospect of propulsion.  It’s quick, but it’s like a quarterback that would rather watch the game on TV.  One for the 300C crowd, then…

4th Place: Mazda 6

Mazda’s previous 6 (Atenza in Japan) might not’ve been the most dramatic-looking vehicle out there, but it was one of the most entertaining steers in the mainstream family sedan market.  There was also the elegant wagon and the nifty five-door hatch version.  But the appeal laid in the ability to get either the four or the bent-six with a 5-speed manual and tight suspension.  Sure, the new 6 might have way more power – it’s 3.7L 24v V6 has 272bhp, compared to the old 3.0L Duratec with 220 horses – but it’s also quite huge (think Impala) and rather unfortunate looking.

The problem is that Mazda tried to both push the 6 more into the mainstream (more space) and make it more individual (pregnant RX-8 styling.)  It just doesn’t work, really.  And the saddest bit is the demise of the MazdaSpeed6 – that old AWD, turbocharged, 6MT-equipped rally weapon they used to sell.  Sure, the V6 has almost as much power (272 vs. 280) but there’s no way that heavy-nosed V6 FWD automatic-only 6s can hold a candle to a lightweight 4WD sedan stuffed full of boost.  Very sad.

3rd Place: Volvo “R-Design” Cars

Remember the Volvo S60R?  It looked like this:

And, to back up the huge intakes and large wheels and brakes and all the other visual pizzaz, it had a 300bhp turbocharged straight-five that sounded like a pissed-off Audi Quattro.  Oh, and Haldex AWD.  And a 6-speed manual.  And an instantly variable three-mode chassis setup, and huge brakes, and twin intercoolers, and it went like stink…  you get the point.  Compared to most things, it was visibly subtle (c’mon!  It’s a Volvo!) but if Mustang GT drivers weren’t careful with the launch, all they’d be seeing were some Volvo tail-lights.  Very satisfying, and even moreso in the mechanically identical V70R wagon version.

Sadly, Volvo decided the S60/V70R were way too cool to exist, people didn’t want fast Volvos, blah blah blah.  So now they’ll sell you a Volvo that looks fast.  Like this V70 R-Design, which has the same boring engines as a regular new V70, only it’s got a totally sweet bodykit and wheels.  This is an improvement?

2nd Place: Porsche Cayenne

Beating a dead horse here, I know.  But I’m sorry: If it has a Porsche badge, it should be fast.  So why, then, is a V6 Cayenne slower to 60mph than a Honda Odyssey?  And also, why can you get a Porsche Cayenne with a 3.0L Diesel?  What is the world coming to?

1st Place: Ford Mustang V6

And we get to the ultimate performance poser!  While the Camaro boasted a nifty 3.6L 24v DI V6 this year, which cranked out a no-joke 304bhp, the Mustang continued to stay on course with it’s fabulous 4.0L V6.  Which manages to cough up 210bhp.  So despite the new, super-sexy bodywork, the 2010 V6 Mustang was still a three-legged pony.  Or, wretchedly slow and awful – it’s up to you!  And while the V6 Camaro managed to surprise and delight, the V6 Mustang gets beat up by… of all things, the Eclipse GT!  Oh dear, we’ve come full circle.

The good news is that Ford is answering your cries of pain next year.  As you may have heard, the ancient 4.0L is getting the heave-ho, and a new Mazda-derived 3.7L 24v V6 is taking it’s place, which promises 305bhp and something other than meatgrinder noises coming out of the tailpipe.  Hurray!

The new Fiesta has been on sale in Europe for about a year now, and has been flying off lots like it had wings and was free.  Ford is using the Los Angeles motor show to debut their sub-Focus entrant for the US market, and it’s made the transition from Euro-market model to US model mostly unscathed, thankfully.

Of course, being the US market, we simply have to have a sedan, regardless of the fact that compared to hatchbacks, sedans are grossly space inefficient.  We just like our trunks.  Now I’m going to be forthright about this:  the Fiesta Sedan is, uhh, ungainly looking. Maybe it’ll grow on me, or maybe it just never should have existed – like the horrible looking sedan version of the Nissan Versa.  Ditto the Toyota Yaris.  You’d think Ford would have learned?

Styling changes are minimal.  The sedan gets a goofy-looking three bar chrome grille up front (aping the Fusion?  woo, and indeed, hoo!) and a strip of LED lights in a chrome surround instead of real fog lights.

The Fiesta will be sold as the (awkward looking) 4 door sedan as well as the Euro-tastic 5-door hatchback, which gets a smaller body-colored grille and generally looks not so ridiculous.

Under the hood, all US-market Fiestas will be powered by a 1.6L DOHC 16v I4, which has a few tricks up it’s sleeve.  Primarily, there’s the fancy valve-timing control setup which Ford calls Ti-VCT (Twin independent Variable Cam Timing), as well as a new accessory drive belt setup that drops the tensioner for increased efficiency.  Power output is 119bhp, which is quite good for a port-injected NA 1.6L, along with 109lb-ft of torque.  More than enough for the segment, let’s say.

Standard on the Fiesta will be a slick-shifting five-speed manual (no surprise), but the two-pedal option is what’s really surprising.  Ford calls it PowerShift (heh), but we’d call it a DSG – it’s a twin-clutch automated gearbox.  This dry-clutch unit is sealed, meaning it shouldn’t require maintenance during the expected lifetime of the vehicle, and internal lubrication allows for less friction losses and greater efficiency.  Plus it’s driver adaptive, and will shift eons faster than, say, the dim-witted 4-speed torque converter automatic in a Yaris.

Continuing with the efficiency binge, the Fiesta uses EPAS – Electronic Power Assisted Steering.  While these systems have been criticized in the past for not offering enough feedback, Ford swears up and down that the steering has been calibrated with just the right amount of feel.  Obviously electric power steering is more efficient than a fully hydraulic system, and is usually lower maintenance as well.  Can you tell they’ve been doing their homework?

All this adds up to a very efficient car indeed.  With the 6-speed PowerShift transmission, Ford rates the Fiesta at 30mpg city, 40 mpg highway – which is well above what any of it’s competitors can reach for EPA numbers.  This alone should be enough to sell a boatload of Fiestas, but there’s more to it than that.

For one thing, this car will probably go a long way towards abolishing the idea that a small car isn’t pleasant to be in.  The Fiesta is available with just about every modern convencience you could really want, and a few you probably didn’t think of.  The interior design is surprisingly attractive, and goodies abound.  Keyless entry/pushbutton start?  Yup.  SYNC integration for your bluetooth phone?  Yup, with voice commands.   There’s also a 4″ LCD, automatic climate control, and available heated power leather seats round out the niceties that will set this car apart.

Ford’s got big hopes for the Fiesta in the US – they say they’ve already got orders for 60,000 of the things – and I really have no doubt this car will be a huge success in the US.  It’s just a shame the sedan looks so goofy, because you know you’ll be seeing them all the time.

And you can’t say the time isn’t right for such a car.  These days, everyone’s concerned with efficiency, but that doesn’t mean people don’t still care about fun.  This strategy is the whole reason that Honda sold every CR-X they could import in the ’80′s, even with the ridiculous Honda dealer price gouging that was routine back when there was an import quota on foreign-assembled automobiles.  This could be just the ticket for Honda, who’s been uncharacteristically weak in the US lately.

As for the car itself, well, it’s not that interesting mechanically.  What it really is, is a two-door version of the dedicated-hybrid Insight econo-car.  But remember, the original CRX was just a slightly shorter Civic, and it was still revolutionary.  The CR-Z gets power from the combination of a 1.5L clean-burning gas four cylinder as well as Honda’s IMA (Integrated Motor Assist) system.  In addition to the Insight’s dreadful rubber-band CVT, the CR-Z will be offered with a short-throw six speed manual transmission, for people that actually enjoy driving.

So it won’t exactly be overwhelmed with horsepower, but with a lighter curb weight than the Insight as well as a lower center of gravity, it should be an entertaining car to fling around the bends.  Furthermore, expect fuel mileage and emissions numbers to be pretty stellar, just to add icing to the cake.

The styling is hard to criticize – I’d go so far as to say it’s sort of attractive.  Then again, I see a lot of CR-X in the design, and I (clearly) have a soft spot in my heart for the CRX.  Still, the proportions are excellent, and it looks compact yet solid and full of energy.  The greenhouse is 100% modern CRX to me, but the front end is something else – huge gaping front grilles aren’t something I expect from Honda.  But you know how it works – if Audi’s doing, everyone’s doing it!

About the only questionable thing I see, at least stylistically, are those bangle-esque taillights.  I think perhaps the intersection of curves and hard lines just looks odd in pictures, but the back is lacking the harmony and cleanliness of the original.  Still, at least it’s got that vertical glass pane in the back for reversing!  If it worked in 1985, it’ll work today…

The interior looks like a mixture of Acura RSX and Honda Insight, but for a compact economy two-seater, it looks extremely nice.  I especially like the large, high-definition LCD screen in the center dash, as well as the “pods” orbiting the main gauge cluster.  You can see what I’m talking about better from a straight-on angle.

Although this isn’t the “full production” version of the CR-Z, expect it to appear nearly the same as this “pre-production concept.”  Perhaps the huge blingey wheels will hit the garbage bin (where they belong), but otherwise what you see is what you’ll get.  There should be more pictures and details on the CR-Z forthcoming next week at the Tokyo Auto Show, so stay tuned!

As you probably know, the new 9-5 sits on the Epsilon II chassis shared with the Opel Insignia.  As expected, it shares a few things in common – but if you’ve been reading up about the Insignia, you’ll know that’s a good thing.  Initially the 9-5 will be available with a range of 3 gas and one diesel engines of outputs ranging from 160bhp-300bhp, all with their own benefits and charms.  There’s an emphasis on efficient power, so all engines are turbocharged and all the gearboxes – automatic or manual – have 6 ratios, which is a nice upgrade.  All the gas engines have laser-finished cylinder bores, as well as piston oil squirters and sodium-filled exhaust valves for heat dispersion.

Starting at the bottom, there’s a surprisingly small 1.6L gas turbo motor.  That seems like hardly enough displacement for such a large car, but Saab has a few tricks up their sleeve for this tiny motor.  It utilizes an iron block mated to an aluminum head for durability under boost.  The aluminum oil pan is integral to the block for added strength, as well as chain-driven hollow camshafts for lighter reciprocating mass and durability.  This undersized motor also has a turbocharger and air-to-air intercooler, but gets by with port fuel injection.  Still, power output is impressive: 180bhp (132kW) and 170lb-ft (230nM) of torque with a wide peak from 2,200-5,500rpm with a low 8.8:1 compression ratio.  The 1.6 Turbo also allows “overboost” under ideal conditions (high octane gas, atmospheric conditions, etc) for up to five seconds which raises peak torque to 196lb-ft (266nM).  Fuel economy is impressive at 7.6L/100km, and emissions aren’t too bad, rating in at 179g/km.  With this engine, the 9-5 makes it’s way to 100km/h in 9.5 seconds, which isn’t bad for a big sedan with a 1.6L engine.

Slotting in above that (again, in my mind and suited to my personal tastes) is the 2.0L diesel motor.  This is a fully modern unit (unlike some of Saab’s recent diesels, which have apparently been pretty awful), using an iron block and aluminum head for durability.  Dual overhead camshafts are driven by chains like god intended, and fuel is delivered via a common-rail direct injection setup.  The turbocharger is a variable-vane geometry setup to boost low-rpm throttle response and driveability. With an 17.5:1 compression ratio, power is 160bhp, a bit behind the modern German 2.0L’s (BMW’s 2.0L makes 204bhp, VW’s is up around 180bhp) but torque is pretty satisfying at 350nM (258lb-ft.) What’s really impressive about the diesel 9-5 are emissions and fuel consumption: just 5.3L/100km is amazing, and 139g/km is absurdly low.  Thumbs up to this motor!

Back to the gas engines, above the 1.6 Turbo sits the revamped 2.0T.  Although based on the previous 2.0L Turbo used in the new 9-3, the 2.0T has been treated to enough upgrades and enhancements to practically be a new engine.  Using all-aluminum construction for light weight, the 2.0T also has dual overhead camshafts operated by maintenance-free cam chains.  What’s different?  Well, for one thing, Saab has finally jumped on the direct injection bandwagon, with the result of greatly increased low-end torque and much better knock resistance.  Also, the turbo has been changed to a twin-scroll unit, meaning it separates the charge from the exhaust into two streams to get quicker spool – Mini used this to great effect in the revised Cooper S, and I was impressed.  On a 2.0L DI gas engine, a twin-scroll turbo points to huge amounts of torque at low RPMS, and you’d be right.  Although the 2.0T  “only” makes 220bhp, it makes a surprising 350nM (258lb-ft) of torque at a super-low 2,500rpm – practically a diesel powerband, and from a surprisingly low 9.5:1 compression ratio!  Other goodies include aluminum pistons, a forged-steel crankshaft, and hydraulically operated variable valve timing.  This VVT system is pretty neat: it allows intake and exhaust valve timing to be adjusted independently of each other for optimised performance.  With the 2.0T, the 9-5 is good for a 7.9 second 0-100km/h time.  Fuel efficiency and emissions are 8.4L/100km and 199g/km, respectively.  Also of note is the availability in some markets of a BioPower version of this engine, which is E85-compatible and makes the same numbers running on the ethanol blend.

Sitting at the top of the heap, for now, is the 2.8V6 Turbo motor.  This is a further development of the Saab 2.8 V6 Turbo that debuted in the 9-3 Aero in 2006, but refined for more power and better delivery.  The all-alumin V6 is set at a 60° angle for ideal smoothness, and also has dual-phase variable cam timing on both cylinder banks.  It uses a twin-scroll single turbo setup, each cylinder bank feeding one runner, for minimum spool-up time.  For added durability, the crankshaft and connecting rods are forged, the aluminum pistons are polymer-coated, and there are triple piston oil squirters.  Power output is an impressive 300bhp, along with 295lb-ft (400nM) of torque between 2,000-5,000rpm.  Saab says this muscular V6 will do 0-100km/h in 6.9 seconds in the 9-5 Aero, although they don’t release emissions or efficiency numbers – probably because they’re not that great, but who cares?  imagine the potential in this engine for more power.

Obviously, being a Saab, the new 9-5 isn’t just about what’s under the hood.  It’s far and away the most sophisticated car Saab’s ever built, and it shows in some of the neat techy features you can get with it.  For instance, available on the 2.0T/2.0T BioPower as well as the Aero (2.8V6 Turbo) is Saab’s XWD four-wheel-drive system.  What it actually is, is fourth-generation Haldex AWD, which utilizes what they call an “eLSD.”  This trick piece of equipment sits on the back axle, and can actively apportion torque left-to-right depending on which wheel needs power for the car to match the driver’s demands the best.  A traditional open differential AWD setup can’t do this (like Audi’s Torsen system, which uses a cool torque-sensing center differential, but lame “brake lock differentials” tied in with the ABS system to apportion power side-to-side by braking the wheel, not sending power where it needs to be), which makes XWD one of the best four-wheel-drive systems on the market today.

The suspension is pretty cool, too.  There are actually 3 different suspension designs available on the 9-5, depending on which model you get.  Base engines (1.6 gas turbo and 2.0 diesel turbo) use a traditional MacPherson strut front suspension and a 4-link independent rear.  The 2.0T model changes out the 4-link rear for a linked H-arm setup which allows the fitment of XWD if ordered.  The top-of-the-line 2.8 V6 Turbo Aero ditches the regular MacStruts in the front for the goofily-named “HiPerStrut” (High Performance Strut) setup seen on the Insignia VXR/OPC models.  This neat arrangement has benefits of a less angled, shorter kingpin as well as increased caster adjustment, which Saab claims gives the benefits of a sophisticated double-control arm setup without taking up all the space.

In addition, the 9-5 is available with Saab DriveSense, which is a variable damper-control system you can get on everything but the 1.6 and 2.0 diesel models.  It has three settings – “Intelligent”, “Sport”, and “Comfort.”  The system can control damping rates (electronically variable dampers, how cool?), steering assistance level, and throttle responsiveness.  In “Intelligent” (the default mode) it’s adaptive to how the car’s being driven.  In “Comfort” it softens everything up for relaxed highway cruising, and in “Sport” it… well,  you know.  Beyond stiffening everything up, it also raises the intervention threshold on the ESP system, raises the automatic shift points, and sets the default front-rear torque split with XWD to more rear-biased.  There’s also a “Sport Chassis” option on FWD (standard on XWD) models that drops static ride height by 10mm, beefs up the front anti-roll bar, increases spring and damping rates all around, and includes less squishy top strut mounts for sharper steering.  Can you tell I want one of these?

There are some interesting active safety features for the 9-5 as well.  Particularly obnoxious will be the Lane Departure Warning, which is utterly useless (I know I’m changing lanes, thanks) as well as Traffic Sign Recognition (seriously?  I can read) and Advanced Park Assist (really?  I didn’t want a Lexus, so I didn’t buy one.)  Besides that, it sounds all good.  Even the headlights are cool!  Bi-Xenon (low/high, unlike most manufacturers who cheap out and use a halogen high beam) are adaptive, meaning they angle into the turns to better illuminate the road.  The highbeams engage and disengage automatically using an oncoming light sensor (cool!) and also have different light patterns for different conditions and speeds.  At speeds below 50km/h, the lights make a wide, flat beam for increased roadside hazard visibility.  Up to 100km/h, the beam spreads out more vertically, providing greater range but still some side visibility.  Above 100km/h, the beam focuses further down the road.  As if that wasn’t enough, the 9-5′s headlights also utilize the windscreen’s rain/snow sensor to alter the beam pattern in bad weather conditions – a wide, asymmetric pattern that helps see road markings.  It’s this kind of attention to detail that will garner the 9-5 some love in the executive market, I’d say.

The “surprise and delight” features continue inside, as well.  There’s a fighter-jet style heads up display (ok, honesetly not a fan, but whatever) that projects speed as well as warning symbols and other necessary info onto a high-visibility area of the windshield, as well as letting you feel like Robocop.  Interior niceties include keyless entry/exit with a push button start/stop setup, tri-zone automatic climate control, and other goodies.  And then there’s the entertainment system: available is a high-end Harman/Kardon 11-speaker setup with true 5.1 surround sound.  There’s an 8-inch touch LCD screen in the dashboard, with an integrated 10-gig hard drive, a USB port (thank god, neither an iPod-specific cable or a useless “AUX” jack!) that fully integrates the controls of whatever’s connected to the head unit, and… that’s just the front seats!  You can also get a rear-seat entertainment package that includes a bespoke control panel in the rear and two 8-inch LCD screens in the back, which can use a different media source from the front.  There’s standard bluetooth (which works with the available wireless headphones in the back as well as a hands-free connection for compatible phones) and other cool stuff like remote SIM card access which basically turns your car into a huge phone.

Now, all this tech and refinement is well and good.  It’s quite impressive, even.  But if the 9-5 is to be Saab’s saving grace, it’s hail-mary pass, or (hopefully not) it’s last gasping breath, it still needs to drive as well as it sounds on paper.  Initial reviews (such as this early first drive on Saabs United) have been very positive, but only time will tell if the 9-5 has what it takes to do what needs to be done.  One thing’s for sure – I, as a Saab owner and lover, have got my fingers crossed.

The E63 wagon isn’t a new concept – in fact, they’ve been selling E63 AMG’s in the US the last few years – but this is AMG version of the new E-class wagon.  So while the engine doesn’t change (much), the body of the blitzen Benz is all new, and man is it good looking.  With a nod to Autoblog for these images, wouldn’t you say this is one of the meanest looking wagons ever made?

The engine is still AMG’s bespoke 6.2L 32v quad-cam V8, in this application producing 525bhp or 11bhp more than the previous E63.  Torque output is an equally impressive 464 lb-ft of torque, which means that E63 will still be able to lay fat patches of rubber on demand.  And you know what, with a maximum cargo capacity of 1950L (695 seats up), the E63 AMG Estate can haul in two entirely seperate interpretations of the term.

The new E63 has slightly more power and is slight heavier than the old one.  That means slightly worse fuel economy, right?  Err… no.  The new E63 is actually about 12% more fuel efficient than the old one, with 12.8L/100km (combined numbers).  Most of the gain comes from the switch to a 7-speed AMG SPEEDSHIFT automatic transmission.  This is a trick piece of kit, which debuted in the SL63 AMG – it’s like a traditional planetary gearset automatic (not like a VW style DSG) but instead of a viscous torque converter setup, it utilizes a wet clutch, which speeds shifts up a massive amount, as well as losing less energy to driveline inefficiency.

It all adds up:  the E63 AMG Estate can blast from 0-100km/h in 4.6 seconds (which I think is a fairly conservative factory figure) and onto an electronically limited top speed of 250km/h (155mph).  The E63 keeps the emissions under 300g/km (just barely), but were you expecting a Prius?

I don’t expect the E63 AMG Estate to be a big seller -  you have to admit it’s quite the niche vehicle – but I’m just happy that cars like this (and the RS6 Avant, and the M5 Touring) exist in the first place.  I mean, I’ll never be able to afford one, but at least someone will be able to do huge burnouts in their 525bhp station wagon.  Color me jealous.

Now, I think this is ridiculous, but I suppose diversity isn’t a bad thing.  We’ve already covered the interesting looking Mini Coupe here, but the interesting news is that it and a drop-top sibling are headed to series production.  Including the current Mini Cooper and Convertible, as well as the Clubman and the upcoming Crossman SUV-joke, that’ll bring the total of Mini derivatives to…  way too many.

Regardless of doing the math on how many times you can divide a tiny niche up, the Mini Coupe and Roadster are pretty cool.  The Coupe leaked out a few weeks before Frankfurt, but the Roadster is pretty fresh – and I think it’s the better looking of the two.  Roadster and Coupe below:

BMW Group chairman Norbert Riethofer recently confirmed that the Coupe and Roadster versions of the Mini would be going into production soon at the company’s Oxford, UK plant.  So what’s different about the Roadster versus the convertible Mini?

There’s only two seats, the windshield is bespoke and raked at a greater angle, the trunk and top are unique, and the rear bumper is redesigned with big marker lights on the outside, and a neatly situated center-exit exhaust setup.  Personally, I think it’s a lot more cohesive shape than the odd-looking Mini convertible, which for some reason retains the (useless) back seats.  From some angles, it’s kind of aggressive, actually.  And it looks much better than the convertible Mini Cooper with the top up, as well:

The Mini Coupe is neat in it’s own way, too.  Especially when they park it next to a huge pile of rocks. Mini marketing department is a strange one, eh?

With their reduced weight and lower centers of gravity, these two-seater Minis are sure to be a blast to drive.  And the rear seats were useless anyway; who’s going to miss them?  The Coupe and Roadster should be heading into production some time next year, and will be dicing through traffic with a Mac sticker on the back real soon. So be ready.

This is the new Golf R20, the high-performance variant of the new MKVI Golf/Jetta chassis.  You may notice a name change, and you’re not to be blamed for thinking it isn’t for the better.  The R20 replaces the Golf R32 as the top dog in VW’s staid, sensible family hatchback range.  Where as the previous Golf R32 had a howling 24v 3.2L VR6 motor (a V6 with a super-narrow V angle sharing a common head, like those Lancia V4′s of old), The new one ditches the big six for a little four-banger.

But lately VW has been working some magic, replacing large inefficient engines with smaller, more economical AND more powerful ones.  Just like the S4, which lopped 0.4 seconds off it’s 0-60 time while dropping two cylinders and gaining almost 25% better highway fuel economy, the Golf R20 drops cylinders but adds power and economy.  The 2.0T FSI (equipped with a K04 turbo, twin intercoolers, and who knows what else) makes 270bhp, as well as 350nM (258lb-ft) of torque between 2,500 and 5,000 rpm.

Transmission choices are a six-speed manual, or a 7-speed DSG (twin clutch automated manual).  While the Golf R shares it’s powerplant with the Scirrocco R, the big advantage the Golf has is the presence of Haldex all-wheel-drive to put the power down.  Performance is impressive: 0-100km/h takes 5.7 seconds with the manual transmission, and 5.5 with the DSG.  Fuel consumption has decreased from 10.7L/100km (MKV R32) to 8.5L/100km, and as you’d expect the top speed is limited to 155mph.

The R20 does get some bling to differentiate it from the plaebian Golfs.  Up front, Audi’s gorgeous LED daytime running lights have trickled down to VW, as well as the neat LED-lit taillights.  The R20 gets some eye-grabbing wheels wrapped with sticky performance tires, as well as some rather large brakes.  The front bumper is reshaped to include massive Audi RS-style air intakes, while around back the center-exit exhaust pipes that debuted on the MKV R32 make a return appearance.

The inside is a treat as usual, with the newly redesigned MKVI dashboard, as well as some fantastic looking hip-hugging sports seats with suede bolsters.  I really like the jewel-like gauge cluster, the piano-lacquer black part of the steering wheel, and all those little details that make it a VW, like the extensively sculpted flat-bottomed steering wheel.  Way cool.

The R20 goes on sale at the end of the year in Germany, although initial pricing has yet to be announced.  VW’s press release for the R20 was a little sparse and left something to be desired, so perhaps there will be more information on this hot hatch to come.  While it may  not be as powerful as the bonkers 300bhp Ford Focus RS, you can bet it’s a more composed and refined car – and thanks to the AWD grip, I’d put my money on the VW from a dead stop.  Of course the best thing about the R20 compared to the Focus RS is that it’s got a chance of being exported to the States.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed!

But sadly, this is the real world, and modern Saabs continue to disappoint.  Hey, something had to take the spiritual place of the 9000 Aero.  I suppose I’m fine with the fact that it’s an Audi.  And why am I whining, then?  Well, mainly because Audi hasn’t see fit to stamp “export to USA” on the S5 Sportback.  But it’s a marvelous vehicle nonetheless.

We’ve talked extensively about the A5 Sportback here on CarThrottle in the past.  While I’m still not sure where it sits in Audi’s lineup (slightly bigger but probably less useful than an A4 Avant, smaller and definetely less useful than an A6 Avant, but spacious and useful compared to the Q5, but… you get the point) I certainly see the appeal of the design.  Now Audi’s added some serious horsepower to the mix, and I’m interested.

The engine is the same under the hood of the new S4, S5 Cabriolet, and the A6 3.0T.  It’s the 3.0L V6 topped with a supercharger huffing up to 0.8bar of pressure (which is why that “T” at the end of “3.0T” makes so much sense), direct fuel injection, and twin air-to-air intercoolers, which spits out 333bhp and 324lb-ft of torque.  It’s the same combination of powerful acceleration and surprising fuel economy that makes the S4 such a winner – in this case, the S5 Sportback does 0-100km/h in 5.4 seconds while managing a combined 24mpg rating.

All S5 Sportbacks will come standard with Quattro AWD as well as a 7-speed S-Tronic (DSG to you and me) transmission.  Audi’s trick torque-vectoring Sport Differential is optional, and you know you want it.  18″ wheels are standard, but you can bling up your S5 Sportback with some 20″ if you like increased unsprung mass.  Inside, it’s business as usual for Audi:  high-quality materials, attractive and intelligent design, lots of leather, and lots of stainless steel.

The S5 Sportback goes on sale first quarter of 2010 with a starting price of €57,900.  Fast, practical, or affordable – I guess it’s still “pick two.”  Or for Americans, in this case, it’s “pick none.”  Thanks a lot, Audi.

Called the Quadrifoglio Verde, it sits above the current top of the line MiTo, but won’t be quite as insane as the GTA, if that ever comes out.  It packs mechanical and aesthetic upgrades on top of what is an already very desirable package.

Under the hood, the 1.4L turbocharged I4 has it’s power output bumped from 155bhp to 170bhp.  Called the 1.4 MultiAir, the primary difference between it and the 1.4 TBi (155bhp) is the variable valve timing system.  Alfa Romeo uses an electro-hydraulic tappet mounted between the cam and intake valves.  Controlled by solenoids, this VVT system allows a great amount of adjustment at much faster speed than normal VVT systems – like high duration and lift at WOT for max output, and lowered duration and lift for low-speed efficiency.  This means that the MultiAir is both more efficient and more powerful than the normal motor.

It all adds up to some impressive numbers.  0-60 comes in just over 7 seconds, which is surprising  when you consider the Mito QV can achieve nearly 49mpg on the US highway mileage cycle, with surprisingly low emissions of 139g/km.  Power is transmitted through a new six-speed gearbox to the front wheels.

Also of mention is the suspension.  Co-developed with Magnetti-Marelli, Alfa’s Dynamic Suspension utilizes four electronically controlled shocks and 5 seperate accelerometers to adapt to driving style and road conditions.  The Mito QV has Alfa’s “DNA” three-setting mood switcher, with different modes for different conditions.  There’s “Dynamic” for sporty driving, “Normal” for… uhh, normal driving, and “All Weather” for traction-limited situations.

To make the QV look a little meaner, there are some 17″ alloys coated in “satin titanium” finish, which also tints the headlight and taillight surrounds for a sinister look.  There are green four-leaf-clover emblems to remind you that you bought the fast one.  Inside, the interior has been reupholstered and the gauges receive white lighting, but so far no interior pictures have surface.  More pictures (and hopefully more information) about this Italian hot hatch should appear when it debuts at the Frankfurt show next week, so stay tuned.

I honestly thought the Reventon was done at this point; it was limited to 25 units of production and all were sold to rich oil sheiks, or something.  Apparently Lambo isn’t done with this futuristic-looking range topper, or perhaps they want something mental to compete with the Aston One-77.  The Reventon is still just a Murcielago with a really cool body and interior thrown on, but since when was that a bad thing?

The 6.5L V12 produces 660bhp, and it’s mated to Lamborghini’s viscous all wheel drive like in the Murcielago LP670-4 SV.  In fact, it’s unlikely the Reventon will offer any sort of performance advantage over the craziest of the Murcielago’s, but then it’s target market is people seeking to buy a dream, not so much an automobile.

To that extent, I imagine driving a 660-horsepower convertible supercar that looks like an F-18 and the Batmobile had a baby is probably just the right thing, and all 25 of these Reventon roadsters will be bought up before you can say “Go.”  Again, more pictures should be up closer to the show next week, so stay tuned.