16 Things You Never Want To Hear As A Car Guy

There are some things no car nut should ever hear. Here are 16 examples...
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“Do you know why I pulled you over?”




“I think you just got flashed!”


“That doesn’t even include fitting”


“It’s probably safer to change the whole thing”


“Dude, that was your clutch”

burnout meme

“Son, do you need a ride to school?”


“Nice Miata, dude!”

“An R35 GT-R? I hate ricers…”


“They’ve got a tank”


“Danger to manifold”


“Too soon, junior”


“It’s me or your car”


“You’ve been outbid”


“Happy Birthday Son!”

“And on that bombshell, it’s time to end the show”


What else should no car nut ever hear?

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  • SpeedSource70

    “BOOM! pacreksjskdksshslspsshsshhhhhhhhhh…………” “Hey, is that from your car?”

  • Oli ‘graham’ Hardcastle

    “it has failed its MOT”

  • http://www.gtplanet.net/ Andrew Evans

    “You need new discs and pads/exhaust mid section”.

    To avoid this, never go to a mechanics chain. Last time I heard this it had 12 mile old Black Diamond discs and Mintex 1144 pads and a 10 week old stainless catback…

    • Rick

      or you can learn to just do it on your own. most stuff isn’t even that hard :)

      • http://www.gtplanet.net/ Andrew Evans

        To be fair, most people don’t have the time or patience to do it and they rely on these roadside chain shysters.

        I did the brakes myself the day before and only popped in to have them ramp it to help identify a noise (which I eventually worked out was a CV joint). Their first diagnosis was “needs new discs and pads”.

        I asked for my car and keys back…

        • Keith Hollis

          ^^ knowing how to do it yourself is great and can save you money when you need to, but it’s nice to drop your car off in the morning, go to work just like always and have it finished, working and waiting for you when you get off work at the end of the day.

          • James Miller

            Or you’re just too damn lazy and can’t nor want to do it yourself, all while saving money and learning something.

          • Keith Hollis

            …or you don’t find maintenance on cars that relaxing and would rather spend you free time doing something you enjoy.

  • Bryan

    motor has a knock

  • Cedric McKinney

    Thanks for letting me barrow your car, by the way, I kinda crashed it…..

  • Curtis

    “Alright, which one of you punks drives that little ______ car outside?”

  • subbiedude

    Knock, knock, who’s there? Connecting rod.

    • Luke

      Mangled connecting rod at that.

  • Tori

    Well for us ladies. “You know a lot about cars…for a girl.” So obnoxious.

    • inailedurmom42times

      you shut your damn mouth, 99% of girls know fuck all about cars so you can see where we are coming from when it is shocking to see a girl know something about cars, not obnoxious, your just a fat ugly ass bitch who doesnt get any attention from us guys so you’re just trying to find a reason to call us obnoxious stupid fatty. look i threw a caramel chocolate bar behind you why dont you go fetch it

    • Evan

      i always leave out the for a girl part lol its sorta implied… sorry but not a lot of girls care about cars unless its about the paint color or if it has a sun roof lol

      • Tori

        Actually, you’ll find there are way more female enthusiasts than people tend to believe. I recommend Import Sweethearts, Import Chicks, JDM Girls & iheartstance if you don’t know about them. All female enthusiast pages with tens of thousands of members/supporters/fans.

        • Rick

          yeah, but Import Sweethearts, Import Chicks, JDM Girls kinda have a name for it don’t it. If you ask a girl here if they know about Automaxx, they think it’s a sport, while it used to be a big tuner magazine and festival for car nuts. My girlfriend likes cars, but after some meets she definitely got more curious about the scene and is dedicated to get an awesome car and in the future even build a track ready evo 6 lol

  • autoalex

    Why are there scaffolding poles inside of your car?

  • Garrett Spicer

    Clatter clatter clatter


    sir your vehicle is totalled

    • LOL’ing since 1999

      Bitch put some duct tape on it!

  • gboast

    “dude theres cops behind you”

  • Nauj Ibarra

    *Insert random hate comment on Honda’s here*

    • MrJBravo

      you mean like “A piece of shit honda civic”

  • Simon Matyas

    “Honey, there’s water in the carburetor”

  • Jack

    “Honey, I’m really sorry…. but I crashed your car”

  • William

    Thanks for letting me drive your GTR, that auto trans revs forever! Oh btw… something was knocking when I pulled in the drive way, hope its nothing major.

  • Steven B Fisher

    Officer “Well now, just where were you heading in such a hurry there son?”

  • MrJBravo


  • Luke

    “They’ve got a tank. We’re gonna need a plan B”
    “Plan B? We’re gonna need plan C, D, E, Z, we’re gonna new new alphabets!”


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